For Fanny

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: B- | 9 USERS: C
Nothing But Precisely Sitting

Ellen Greene has come looking for Michelle, who needs answers but can't get them from Fanny because she's entered "sixteen hours of meditative silence." What she needs the answers about is, like a giant statue of Hubbell including his genitalia, which is what eventually sends Michelle screaming from the surfer bar, but first, this:

Greene: "There's talk of the Intrepid."
Michelle: "The aircraft carrier Intrepid? From the war?"
Green: "Something about a coupon."
Michelle: "A coupon For an aircraft carrier?"

It's a fine line. Maybe it's different for everybody, where the line is. Because looking at that on paper, it should be just as annoying as the annoying stuff, and yet.

Minka from Cozy Catering calls with the new headcount, which is 500, and Michelle realize she has been sitting for precisely long enough.


In the studio, they're starting to feel the same way. Not Boo, though.

Boo: "If Madame Fanny suddenly decides that she wants to teach today, we are going to be here for her to teach."


Michelle has to call Fanny's name a few times, where she's lying on the couch with a pillow over her head, before she finally gets her attention.

Michelle: "First of all, we hired a sitar player. He's very good. He's got the whole opening of 'Dear Prudence' down cold. The caterer wants to know if the head count is really 500, because if it is, there's a problem with the tarts, which would push the memorial back to Friday -- which is great for the woman making a sculpture of my husband's genitalia out of old hubcaps -- and the traditional Buddhist mariachi band you wanted is on tour in Bolivia till fall, so what do you think? Halloween theme? Everyone can come in costume?"

Fanny makes her way to the fridge, which is jammed with consolation now.

Fanny: "The ham's right there. I see the ham."
Michelle: "Your daughter Truly handled the fridge so I can't help you with that. What do you want me to tell the caterer? What do you want me to tell the mariachi band? Where the hell did you get a coupon to rent the Intrepid?"
Fanny: "I will handle it, just let me handle it, I can handle it."
Michelle: "Which would be great, except you're not handling it."

Right on cue, ring ring.

Michelle: "Ugh, yeah? Can I tell her what this is regarding? Ringling Brothers says you can use their tent on their down day, but you have to go to Sacramento. Yeah, sorry, that's not gonna work for us. The voice of reason has just reentered the building. Thank you for the call, though."

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