NANETTE & BETTINA
Nanette: "Boo, are you sure you don't want to go to that sleepover? It sounds like something that would be very normal."
Boo: "I am a responsible young person with homework."
Nanette: "Nah, you should go. I tried making lite mac and cheese from that cookbook..."
Boo: "-- You are a very good mom!"
Nanette: "But now the house smells like a dead man's foot. Smell my shirt, it is in the fibers."
Boo: "That's insane! What a fragrance! And I cannot stop smelling you!"
Sasha: "See, why would I want to be friends with that idiot? Just sitting in the parking lot, smelling her mother. Why, if my mother ever laughed like that with me, I would pass out from fear."
SASHA & SASHA'S BITCH MOTHER
Sasha's Bitch Mother: "Please keep your carry-ons in your lap, so that they don't ruin my bitch supplies in the backseat."
Sasha: "How crazy would I have to go to get your attention? What would you do if I just leaned over and smelled you right now?"
SBM, verbatim: "You would not even believe my day. Harrowing. The Poseidon Adventure, and I'm Shelly Winters. I am a knot, one giant knot. I can't even think about dinner. I've scheduled a massage for tonight. Henri just barely managed to squeeze me in, and your father is going to be out late again. So what do you want to do? There's take-out, or something frozen... Do you just want to go have dinner with your friends?"
Sasha: "I have none of those. I walk alone."
Michelle: "Man, that road. That private road! I should really stop eating carbs."
Bill: "Why is there a gigantic-mouthed urchin on my doorstep?"
Michelle: "I have walked many miles to this tacky castle to ask if I can have my car towed off your property."
Bill: "We do live in a ridiculous village. Did you know that the policeman keeps stealing my sign?"
Michelle: "Sure, that's likely."
Bill: "Can I offer you zero wine? Also, Bill is not my real name but another quirky thing about our quirky town. Enough of that and you start to feel very depressed, don't you find?"