Sasha arrives at her apartment and the door is wide open. She doesn't know what to do. I'm not sure either. Siri is no help either and wants to call everyone BUT the police. Talia, Truly and Michelle have fondue as a bachelorette event for Talia. Rick is on his way and they are getting married on the beach the next day. Truly asks Talia if she can be her maid-of-honor and she says yes. Roman arrives to check out Sasha's apartment. There's a very funny Annie Hall moment where a spider scares the hell out of Roman and Boo's father (who shows up shortly after Roman, with mom, Boo and screaming boys in tow). Looks like Sasha just forgot to close the door. At least she and Roman got a moment to kiss!
Michelle is trying to teach class while Truly is quick-firing questions about bridesmaids dresses at her. Then, Bash the angry barista arrives and says that there is a fire happening in the woods north of Paradise, which means that everyone has to go to an evacuation shelter. Geez, there's danger everywhere in this episode. And, wouldn't you know it, the dance studio is a shelter. As co-captains of the rescue team, Bash and Michelle are not an intuitive match.
Looks like things are good between Ginny and Melanie again. Dez shows up and starts hitting on Melanie, which is always uncomfortable. Odd, odd, odd moment: Carl and Jeff the waiter bonding over their shared love of the film Hope Springs. I'm not even sure what to say. They both have very specific Tommy Lee Jones impressions, neither of which is good. Then, Bash calls for volunteers and Frankie volunteers and Ginny sees him changing shirts and it IS GOOD.
Melanie is taking a lot of pictures and Dez, who is sweating her hard, reveals a 100% unbelievable art history knowledge with an emphasis on photography. Talia is devastated because the fire means that Rick can't reach her for the wedding. Meanwhile, Michelle finds a condom on the floor in the studio dressing room, which raises a whole bunch of concerns, especially since all of these young couples are going to be spending the night together in the studio.
Bash hears that Paradise's other evacuation center is hosting some killer entertainment, so he and Michelle decide to up the ante. Jeff and Carl do dueling Tommy Lee Jones impressions, which, I mean, they really just aren't anything like him at all. They're more Tommy Lee than Tommy Lee Jones. They're more Kathie Lee Gifford than Tommy Lee Jones. Anyway, so Jeff starts directing his Tommy at Boo, which Carl sees as him hitting on her. And, they fight. It's weird.
Then, THEN, the girls and guys from the studio, having found miner's caps hats that they used for a dance that Fanny choreographed about Billy Elliot (the father, not Billy), perform a jazz number to “I Predict” by Sparks. Awesome. Awesome. Easily the most fun dance of the season.
Ginny gets caught sniffing Frankie's jacket by Cozette. She's embarrassed and Cozette compares her to a baby antelope that she saw on safari that was half-eaten by a lion and she killed to put it out of its misery. She doesn't quite explain what that means. Talia's wedding is on again when Milly commissions a helicopter to bring Rick to Paradise, but then he trips and breaks his ankle and ends up at the hospital. Michelle tells Talia that she thinks this is a sign and she shouldn't marry Rick, which doesn't go over well. Dez talks to Melanie some more and by gosh I think this thing might happen!
Rick arrives and Talia forgives Michelle and gets married. Michelle confronts the girls by dropping the condom in front of them. They don't say anything and look shocked, so she just picks it up and walks away. They get it though. Also, we find out that Boo is on the pill but not having sex. The Paradise firemen walk into the studio and among their ranks is the smoking Godot. Michelle thinks she may have a use for that condom after all. I hope she checks the expiration date.
We begin with big girl Sasha checking her mail and moving towards he door with parcels (she supplies her own bags at the grocer, very green) when she notices that her door is wide open. She tries to get Mrs. Weidemeyer to open her door, but she doesn't respond. She calls Ginny but gets her voicemail. She thinks there's a burglar. She calls Boo too. Voicemail again. At least she leaves a message. Then, she tries to get Siri to call the police but that damn thing wants to call everything else in Paradise with a P name.
Meanwhile, Michelle is eating fondue with Talia and Truly. Truly is being a sad sack. Talia is super excited because Rick is coming to Paradise with his best friend and they are getting married the next day. Talia and Rick -- not Rick and the best man. Sometimes English can really make you look like an idiot. Apparently, Talia and Rick are honeymooning at the very weird Madonna Inn. Have you seen this place? I would stay in the Imperial Family room because a) Imperial Bedroom is my second favorite Elvis Costello album and b) it looks like a bomb shelter and I find that to be a kind of touching metaphor for marriage. Talia goes over some of the reasons she is glad to leave performing and become a married lady. She can gain weight, she can enjoy New Years' Eve and she can get a Pekingese. They argue over what the breed actually looks like. I think Michelle's wrong. Talia says that performing is Michelle's "thing" and she won't miss it herself. Truly kind of butts her way into being Talia's maid of honor, though Michelle does nothing to stand in her way. That's kind of weird, right? It reveals some really cynical feelings our lady must have about marriage, though her previous experience with the institution doesn't suggest a real devotion either.
Roman shows up to help Sasha. They sneak into her apartment together. He checks the bathroom with an umbrella and we hear him wrestle with what must be the largest spider ever. Nice Annie Hall situation check there. They check the bedroom and there's nothing there either. She must have left the door open herself. Then, they realize that they are alone.... They kiss and just as they sit on the bed Boo's parents come screaming into the apartment. They got Sasha's message. They question who Roman is as they check everywhere in the apartment. Then, Boo comes in. Rusty goes into the bathroom with a sledgehammer. He's afraid of the spider too! Then, the Winkleburns come screaming into the apartment. Wait. I'm confused. Is that what we're calling Boo's little brothers or are those the kids that the little brothers play with? Where are the little brothers? And, Boo's mother is on bed rest! This can't be good for her.