Michelle married a random and then he died. Now she lives in a small apartment on his land in his small town, where his crazy mother runs a dance studio. Everything else is up for grabs, I guess.
Michelle wakes up with a possum at the foot of her bed. People always think possums are so cute, and they are always, always wrong. For a while it looks dead.
Michelle: "There's something in my bed..."
Fanny: "Well, just give him some cab fare and change the locks."
Michelle: "No, it's like a thing. Like a nature thing."
Fanny: "Like a tsunami? Like a rat? Just get out of bed with it."
Michelle: "I cannot do that."
Michelle sends Fanny a picture of the nature thing, and she rolls her eyes and drops some truth bombs.
Fanny: "It's not a rat. It's a possum. Which is basically like a rat. They only attack when they're in heat, I think. Just grab a skillet, bang him on the head."
Michelle: "Are you going to come save me?"
Fanny: "Sure, idiot."
The possum attacks! Best open so far of the season! What does it mean? Nothing. Just a funny idea about a possum, you're welcome, on with the show.
BOOKKEEPING WITH TRULY
Michelle: "Oh, are you guys busy? I'm just going to keep babbling about the possum."
Truly: "I don't give a shit about your possum problem."
Fanny: "We hate Michelle. What we love, though, is Generation X paranoia bullshit! No Logo! Spam email! Product placement! La Revolucion!"
Truly: "I am very competent except for when it's personal to me. That's my main thing I've got going on."
Michelle: "That is double what I've got going on. I'm bad both at things that are related to me, and things that are not."
Fanny: "I have four hatboxes. I keep my bills in them, and then some of them get paid and some other ones don't get paid. And yet I continue to survive."
Michelle: "That checks out, sure."
Fanny: "Paradise. Very quirksome."
Michelle: "Cool, let's talk about it for a really, really long time."
Child-Boss: "[Talks faster than anybody has ever talked. Has OCD.]"
Boo: "I like to pull my Mom Jeans up to my nipples."
Child-Boss: "You can serve teens sharing fries, other people that don't tip. Your other job is to jump up and down on the garbage in the dumpster."