PREVIOUSLY

Dancer Michelle is resistant to doing anything about her situation, which is currently living in a cottage on the land of a man who drunk-dialed her into matrimony and then died. The obvious solution -- become a teacher at the dance studio she already owns -- is unacceptable because of her self-esteem issues, so instead she prefers to meddle aimlessly in the activities of a crazy old lady named Fanny Flowers. In other news, Boo has many loves, but not a single clue, while Sasha's gay dad is an open secret.

STUDIO

Michelle: "I just wake up kooky! Why are you girls standing around the studio?"
Girls: "Because it's locked."
Michelle: "[Utter nonsense.]"
Girls: "Please don't ever bother us again. You were a fun toy at first, but it's starting to look like there's not an off switch."

BOOK CLUB

Ellen Greene: "I just don't see why I should have to sit through this book we've not yet mentioned by name. I'm not illiterate, I'm not a bored and boring person with too much time on my hands, and I don't hate myself. You know that old Capote adage about how a thing wasn't writing, just typing? What's the Fifty Shades equivalent?"
Gypsy: "It's not reading, it's masturbating. I just like dirty books. Because they're dirty!"
Truly: "Trenchant. But to be honest, I didn't finish the book. The story of how come is not that fascinating. Let me share it with you."
Ladies: "Truly is worse than almost anybody in this town."
Michelle: "Hey, guys!"
Ladies: "Here we go."

Michelle: "Where's that old lady you hang out with? And how come you're always hanging out with old ladies?"
Truly: "Because I do not function!"

(She shows the ladies a picture of her uncle's kidney stone, which is on her phone, because she does not function.)

Michelle: "Truly, because you're the only person with a worse personality than my own, I would like you to be my best friend."
Truly: "But I hate you. It's like my main trait. Besides knowing what's best for everybody but myself."
Michelle: "Yes! But that doesn't matter in this episode. Come hang out with regulars!"
Truly, verbatim: "You want me to be a slut, like you."
Michelle, to her credit: "Yes! I get a coupon to Sizzler for every convert. Now, come out with me and we can talk about random people Jacob doesn't know who they are."