They don't want to drive to LA, because they are drunk, but guess what about old Truly, she doesn't like to drink, so she was spitting each and every sip she took back into the bottle.
Quick, think of something more motherfucking sickening than that. Besides the deep-fried Charlie's Feet we were eating at the beginning of the episode, of course.
The showgirls pile into the car so Truly can drive them to LA (?) for ATM cupcakes (?), of course, instead of punching her in the box for being repulsive and then leaving her broken body at this mysterious carnival that just appeared halfway through the episode.
SASHA'S SCARY HOUSE
I'm sorry, but what the honest fuck? I really thought last week was a fluke, but this whole episode is so goddamn unhinged and bizarre it's like... Like Bunheads has it out for us in some way. There's a level of malevolence.
Like, you know those old stories, like Lovecraft or whatever, where there's a song or a book or a corner of a room that's so wrong and extradimensionally weird that if you look at it, your brain shits the bed forevermore and you partially go out into the lofty deeps and you start seeing alien intelligences and hearing ghost-crabs singing on the moon and there are rats with human faces, telling you secrets?
I'm not saying this episode is that, exactly. I'm just saying there are four more episodes after this one.
SASHA'S SCARY HOUSE
Sasha bitches at everybody for a while, and then decides they should climb up the side of her house and into a window, and everybody is snotty right back to her because of all their made-up problems they're having, and Sasha tries some various strategies. The last one, a jump which Ginny videotapes, involves Sasha accidentally dropping through the car's ragtop by her ass. Everybody laughs, but again: Was it a ragtop convertible a second ago when she climbed it? Is she aware of what parents drive? Is she aware of what cars are? Yes, no, and apparently no. On the other hand, I think I was confused before: They have until 6 AM to wait until they can just turn off the alarm, so they're going to end up sleeping outside. That makes a lot more sense. I've actually done that one. My bad.
Michelle: "Remember that James Bond movie where she died of having her pores clogged by gold? That's going to be me, with ATM cupcake frosting."
Talia: "We used to have so much fun before you moved to a town for no reason and stayed there for no reason."