The only useful thing I did during my recent vacation was teach myself to sing the theme song from Goldfinger like the lead singer of the band Goldfinger. I never thought I would have a good enough reason to share that information with you. But now? Fuck it. Why justify anything, ever again?
Michelle: "Hey, remember that time we defiled a synagogue?"
Talia: "I know! Good birthday. Remember that time we commandeered an aircraft carrier and drove it to Applebees?"
Michelle: "That's right! Because we had a coupon for both. Remember that birthday we drank a lunatic's spittle all night and then ate cupcakes?"
Talia: "Yeah! That was a good one. Not, you know, George Clooney good, but..."
Michelle: "Oh, George. He knows what's best for everyone."
Talia: "Even himself."
Talia: "What's it like getting older?"
Michelle: "I wouldn't know. I act out."
Talia: "Let's talk more about cupcakes and eat more cupcakes."
Michelle: "They're sweet. Cupcakes."
Talia: "Not to mention your Unexpected Life! I'm jealous."
Michelle: "I'm jealous of the life I was going to have here, for those six hours."
Talia: "Are you saying you need to be married to live in Paradise?"
Michelle: "I'm saying I have a grudge against myself for some reason."
I guess they come to some kind of conclusion about their living situations or something. Who knows if it'll stick. The lack of Fanny in this episode -- painful on many levels, frankly -- seems to suggest we haven't gotten any traction as far as getting Michelle to accept accepting the life she is currently accepting.
SASHA'S SCARY YARD
Boo: "Melanie and Ginny can sleep in any position. Even wrapped around each other in the back seat of this car. Good thing we're sleeping on the hood."
Sasha: "Wipe that girl's number off your hand, you fucking peasant. Have some goddamn respect for yourself, just this once."
Boo: "I just like him, though. And I still have this one crazy eyebrow, so..."
Sasha: "I get that you like him, and I'm sympathetic because nobody is watching, but it's still pretty gross. Listen, I got my Joffrey letter yesterday. Officially."
Boo: "Oh, does that still exist on this show? Are you going to attend? And are you going to inform your parents? What if they feel abandoned? Like I am already feeling?"