Sasha: "Ginny, go make that old man move. Melanie, go up front and be tall. I'm going to work my way forward from the back. Boo, work your way in from the side."
Boo: "I'll use my insane-looking eyebrow! To unnerve!"
Sasha flirts a boy out of his seat to go get her popcorn; Melanie is tall as she can be and very cutely switches with an old lady; Boo talks to a grody man who notices her freaky eyebrows and then spits in a cup; Ginny threatens an old man with a heart attack. Things go south at this point. Sasha comes up against a wall of texters -- these kids, am I right? -- and Boo's holding a baby with her scary eyebrows, and Ginny is trying desperately not to get knocked out by the old man, and somehow Melanie gets a guy dragged out by his girlfriend, and they are so close, and here's the kicker.
Melanie: "Sir, can we switch seats with you so we can all sit together?"
Sasha: "I didn't think of that. That obvious thing that we could have done an entire act of this episode of a television series ago. I guess that proves some kind of a point? Either way, it's hilarious."
Suddenly, Charlie is sitting next to Boo -- and the baby she's mysteriously holding, and her fucked up looking eyebrows -- and it's adorable. What, were you thinking she'd end up next to Godot or something? No, this isn't one of those episodes where that matters. This week it's all about Charlie. Horrible, bitchy, stoner Charlie who hates her.
Which is when she wipes her eyebrows off on the baby and hands it to a stranger, which is admittedly excellent.
Meanwhile, Michelle and Talia instruct Truly in shit like how do you wear shoes, and Talia admits that she spent all of Michelle's check on their clothes, and they talk about how that doesn't make sense because why would Talia spend Michelle's money on buying Truly her own things that she already owns, but instead of just shutting the fuck up, they lean into it. Eventually, Truly gets them in by sneaking through a propped-open door.
Charlie and Boo are adorable and funny laughing about the movie, because away from his sister I guess he thinks Boo is cool, and the showgirls assemble at the back of the movie carnival thing truck. Truly shows them her stolen bottle of Gypsy's booze, and they all scream "WOO!" for no reason, and Michelle talks through the whole movie. These Girls! They're Going Wild!
Suddenly in the middle of the movie, Sasha realizes (?) that they have to go back home because retroactively the house alarm was always going to go off in the middle of this movie (?) so she chumps on up to get Boo out of there. I remember things like this being a logistical nightmare as a kid, sure, but at least I had time and space on my side. Not so in Paradise, where bank accounts grow and shrink at whim and people fuck during their own misguided bridal showers and sometimes food makes you fat but other times it doesn't and sometimes the clock runs backwards and you end up having to wipe your chola eyebrows off on a baby.