Talia: "Are you saying you need to be married to live in Paradise?"
Michelle: "I'm saying I have a grudge against myself for some reason."
I guess they come to some kind of conclusion about their living situations or something. Who knows if it'll stick. The lack of Fanny in this episode -- painful on many levels, frankly -- seems to suggest we haven't gotten any traction as far as getting Michelle to accept accepting the life she is currently accepting.
SASHA'S SCARY YARD
Boo: "Melanie and Ginny can sleep in any position. Even wrapped around each other in the back seat of this car. Good thing we're sleeping on the hood."
Sasha: "Wipe that girl's number off your hand, you fucking peasant. Have some goddamn respect for yourself, just this once."
Boo: "I just like him, though. And I still have this one crazy eyebrow, so..."
Sasha: "I get that you like him, and I'm sympathetic because nobody is watching, but it's still pretty gross. Listen, I got my Joffrey letter yesterday. Officially."
Boo: "Oh, does that still exist on this show? Are you going to attend? And are you going to inform your parents? What if they feel abandoned? Like I am already feeling?"
She's still got the eyebrow! It makes everything so weird! It's like a Girls shout-out, except that seems really unlikely. Frankly more of a rip-off maybe.
Dad's just sitting on the couch, staring into space, and I guess he has been doing so all night. The girls scatter, and Sasha sits down and looks at him for a while, clearly about to come out of the closet, shaking and kind of teary-eyed, and decides she'll have none of that.
Sasha: "I stayed out all night and wrecked Mom's car. Goodnight."
And she leaves. Which yes, that would be a kind of cool ending to the episode. Not fucked up, totally understandable, and kind of yearning and sad, like, just delaying the inevitable moment she has to accept things and grow up, and their whole family breaks into a million pieces, and her mom ignores her even more than before. Right? Wouldn't that be an unexpected but welcome character moment to fade to black on?
Because instead, we transition to a fantasy piece in which Sasha -- in a black catsuit with quasi-Black Swan eye makeup -- does a beautifully choreographed, sexy dance to "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)."