Melanie: "Are there any gay aspects to your new life? Ginny, pay attention."
Sasha: "Indeed. A girl who is my cheerleading 'secret sister' makes me brownies every day. It's like we're going steady. Gay steady."
Melanie: "Ginny, do you like brownies?"
Ginny: "They go right to my boobs."
Sasha: "Anyway, cheerleading is ridiculously easy and it's for wimps. Feminism!"
Bunheads: "So you only have to practice one hour a day or less with this cheerleading? What do you do with all your free time? Besides hate things."
Sasha, verbatim: "Well, I'm finally exploring that 'Internet' everyone's been talking about, and then there's TV... And the best part is, I can just sit there. Like someone in the Midwest."
Bunheads: "Oh, you may be interested to know that your departure has driven Fanny fully around the bend."
Sasha: "That's good news!"
Bunheads: "She gave a girl a black eye. Of hitting."
Sasha, blushing: "That is tremendous news! Too bad it means nobody loves me... Except my 'secret sister,' who wants me to meet her somewhere private for a 'special surprise.' Later!"
Melanie: "I gotta get into this cheerleading shit."
Boo: "I can safely say I think we would all benefit from some of that cheerleading shit."
BASH II: BASHED ANEW
Michelle: "I need some coffee! Or whatever you call it in this Portlandia! But first I have to make another phone call to that person who is ignoring me. Baristas love that."
She babbles interminably, it's pretty cute. She destroys the entire coffee shop trying to answer her phone, because she is a menace. Sean Gunn doesn't take it well. His illusive chin wobbles, just a little.
Fanny: "Michelle, go open the studio."
Michelle: "But I am busy ruining this place!"
Fanny: "I am going to drink instead of working. Bye!"
Michelle destroys the one part of the coffee shop that she didn't destroy a second ago, and then Sean Gunn cries, wearing a vest.
Truly: "Psych, Fanny asked me to open the studio also because you are incompetent."
Michelle: "But I needed coffee! Let's talk about it really loud."
Carl: "Boo, I'm wearing my tuxedo shirt because we still haven't done the Ginger Rogers dance and I don't have time for you."
Boo: "I'm very excited about the Ginger Rogers dance, because it is for a grocery store! That will have an ATM! And stamps! And donuts!"
Michelle: "Why does it smell like pumpkin pie in this dance studio?"
Truly: "I light candles on the days I open the studio, to make Fanny's life more wonderful. I know what's best for everybody, except myself. Sometimes I light two candles, to make for a more complex fragrance."