No One Takes Khaleesi's Dragons

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Keeping It "Real" In Paradise

Michelle: "Back to me, I have a dream of being in some musical revue of some kind that I was yelling about in the opening scene before Sean Gunn showed up."
Fanny: "Well, you're untalented and unlovable, but you have to believe in yourself!"
Michelle: "Good points. I will call him, when I find my phone."
Fanny: "I had it here the whole time! Hidden in my cape of leopard."

Michelle: "Tell Richard that I am calling to be in his show, and also a hilarious inside joke. Of course you don't understand it, it's an inside joke! Anyway, tell him to call me back so he can crush my dreams in this erratic spotty story arc of mine where I sometimes have dreams."

Ginny and Melanie are found in a flowering bush.

Michelle: "Bosoms and Lesbian! What are you doing in that flowering bush?"
Bunheads: "We are afraid of Fanny. She will not allow us to hydrate. We do not want to be recognized and cast as Clara in The Nutcracker Suite. To jounce Sasha's limb to be to call down the wrath of the Gods, for she has only the one limb."

I don't know where Boo was hiding during the previous conversation -- probably a larger flowering bush, you know, because she's so hideous and fleshy -- but as a grody green car that old people once thought was attractive drives up, Boo runs out to meet it, waving her arms and yelling at him not to honk. Michelle decides that Anne Frank is a funny thing to make a joke about, so she does. Some of that good old Anne Frank humor that's so popular with absolutely nobody.

Ginny: "We shouldn't be such bitches to Charlie. He is in love with me."
Melanie: "I will always be bitches to Charlie."
Boo: "Is it true that you hid oregano in his bedroom to make him your slave?"

Melanie and Charlie are absolutely horrible to each other some more, and it's gross, and then Ginny reveals that she has the sneak for Charlie suddenly, because of dumping her gay boyfriend and Charlie having the sneak for her. It's a bloodbath of sexual nerves.


Bunheads: "We miss Sasha so much. Ever since she left ballet and started doing hard drugs and having bright blue hair and making little cuts on her legs and becoming a cheerleader, she is all we can talk about. Much like before."
Sasha: "Bitches, I am so busy with my new lifestyle! Allow me to also talk about myself. I have made many new friends in cheerleader class. They eat more than we do, but they are way hornier. Did you know most girls our age get something called a period?"

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