No One Takes Khaleesi's Dragons

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Keeping It "Real" In Paradise

Sasha swallows a bug, so Charlie tells Ginny a story about how he ate a bug once in Aruba and his parents made him drink a piƱa colada. I have to say, Charlie is pretty good at this. Too bad Ginny has never dated a boy besides the boy she dated who we saw twice, or else she might respond in some way that approximates human behavior. Instead, she turns to Boo -- who used to be crushing on Charlie, remember, until she started crushing on Carl, both of which things Ginny has ruined and is still ruining -- and pretends to have a conversation. Sickened by the body issues and romantic hypocrisy, Boo heads for the hills with Ginny's nachos overhead like some bloody tribute.

Did I mention that Ginny likes her nachos with extra cheese and also ketchup? Ketchup on her nachos. Which is like, I know you can't say this show is made by people who have never made a TV show before, because that's demonstrably untrue. It would be more believable to say that this show is made by people who have never seen a television show before. But this Freckle Juice idea that there are people out there in the world who do these things to their food -- More Tabasco in your ice cream brownie sundae? Want some ketchup on those fries? -- makes me wonder if the people have ever eaten food, or met a person who eats food.

It's like on a show when somebody has a dream that is literally like real life, like an intuition of the future, or a replay of a thing that already happened, and you're like, "But how can you not know what a dream is like? From being a person, like, you've had dreams. You automatically qualify as a person who knows what dreaming is like. And yet."

Ginny assures Charlie that she doesn't eat food or go the bathroom, very healthy, and then falls onto the people in front of them and the people also in front of them and just sort of rolls, Teri Hatcher-style, all the way down the bleachers so she can bug Sasha about the serious facts of cheerleading.

Aubrey: "No fraternizing with the fans. Get up there and cheer for our victory!"
Sasha: "I would rather scream and yell about some kind of feminism thing. I think cheerleaders are to blame for male entitlement!"

Boo: "Hey Carl, too bad we're not going to do our Ginger Rogers dance."
Carl: "I don't care about dancing and I never did, except for how I used to be obsessed with dancing in my last and only other episode. Go away so I can watch basketball."

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