It's filmed in such a way that, even though she's being a sadsack, you are totally in the sack with her. Not because she's being willfully ignorant of words and how they work, but because she honestly thought this was it. This was going to be the thing. And there is nothing sadder than seeing somebody hang their hopes on one thing, unless it's seeing them lose that thing. Which is why I am addicted to shows like The L.A. Complex and anything where the people go on auditions, but can no longer handle watching ANTM or any show where the people are this freaking desperate in real life. Which is to say, in another show this might actually be the point where she kills herself. But instead, she does something even stupider!

But that's tomorrow night. Tonight, Michelle is going to get drunk alone, in her sad dancer apartment, and she is going to have a fight with her air conditioner where she beats it with this season's pumps, and so help her God if that prostitute next door gives her even an ounce of shit, she is going to pull the whole motherfucking tablecloth down with her. Which is, I think, the most sensible attitude she's struck so far.

BACKSTAGE

Day two, and still nobody has put ice on her nipples. I think she's gonna be okay.

Friend: "So where ya wanna go get drunk tonight?"
Michelle: "Right here. On the floor. Fuck it."
Harem: "Oh my God he would not shut up about you last night. You're so pretty, you're so tall, most women don't have the courtesy to apologize for being tall..."
Michelle: "If I have to judge and hate myself based on the disapproval of one more white man today, I will kill myself."

Hubbell: "I brought you a shiny jewelry!"
Michelle: "Mister, you have yourself a date. And not because of the shiny jewelry. Not entirely because of it. But I am going to put it on now, securely."
Hubbell: "And at dinner we could order just dessert, if you want."
Michelle: "You really understand how all women think."

DINNER

Hubbell: "Talk about yourself more, Michelle."
Michelle: "Done. So I was like, 'I'm ready to dance, I'm a really good dancer' and he's all, 'No.' Just that, just simply 'No.' And since I'm the center of the universe, I know that everyone in that theatre was watching me bite it. I'm such a has-been. I can't believe I've been hanging all these hopes on this one thing ever since I first washed up in this town and started getting drunk all the time."
Hubbell: "You are so special. It is everybody else's problem. You were not being pathetic or unrealistic in any way. He probably was just jealous of how pretty you are."
Michelle: "I'm sure you're right, Hubbell, but that doesn't change things."