Verbatim, awesomely: "If a director can just look at you and say 'No' after three seconds, it's not 'No, because you're so young and hot,' it's 'No, because you're starting to look like an IHOP cashier."
She yells at the waiter, and he starts babbling about the IHOP down the street and how nice the cashier is, but since he's no longer talking about her -- even though he is basically still talking about her -- she changes the subject back to herself.
Michelle: "Man, this is so pretty. You are so nice to me. Why are you so nice to me? Tell me all the reasons. Start with how you don't care how horrible I am to you."
Hubbell overlooks that particular move -- graciously, I think -- and goes off.
Hubbell: "Have I ever told you about where I live? I live in this beautiful town called Paradise. [For real.] It's right on the coast, right by the ocean so it's always breezy. And my house is up on a bluff, with big trees in the backyard. And in my bedroom, there are these big glass doors that open onto a balcony and when you stand there, all you see is the beautiful blue ocean."
Michelle: "Wow. I live next door to a hooker."
And overwhelmed by her charms, he immediately proposes marriage. And instead of punching his ass in the eye, she indulges the conversation, because she is a drunkard. And possibly because she is additionally in a sugar coma. (By the way, we are almost past the part where Michelle Simms is a disgusting person. She gets really fabulous in a minute, and all the snark starts being funny instead of shitty, and the charm under the surface -- Sutton Foster is so delightful, even now -- comes out, and she actually has conversations about these things instead of acting like a horrible street urchin that has to steal scraps and put them in her pockets to survive, and everything gets great.)
Michelle: "I'm like Godzilla. Men run from me. They flee. And not just Japanese men. All nationalities flee."
Hubbell: "I won't flee."
Michelle: "Buy some comfortable shoes."
Hubbell: "I'll be the one scientist who understands you. The one who knows that you're not burning the city down because you're evil, you're burning the city down to protect the giant lizard eggs you just laid in a cave by the ocean. A cave no one knows is there but me."