What's Your Damage, Heather?

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: B-
Blood In/Blood Out/La-La-La

Michelle: "From my house? That shirt has my name in it, conveniently enough."
Sasha: "Do you label all your glitter thongs, too?"
Michelle: "Don't Gaslight me, lady. That's my shirt."

Sasha finally gives in and tosses it down the stairs at her. Michelle can't imagine why a teenage girl in crisis would do something like this! She's just so confused by this turn of events! Although admittedly, since the only through-lines -- from act to act of this characteristically haphazard, bananas episode -- were about Truly and Ginny's various man issues, I can understand why this unforeshadowed, irrelevant thing happening 12 minutes from the end of the story might throw you off. Actually, it might work if you just wrote that into the structure, and every episode Sasha can go nuts at the end and have her little showcase. Sorta like Oz; little less anal rape, little more Twitter.

Ha, look at me. As if this show could somehow be more like Oz than it already is. What was I thinking? La-la-la, old bean. Don't fight it.


Michelle reminds Boo to breathe, and Sasha wanders out into a class that's ready going on, dance shoes in hand, and is a bitch for no reason some more, and I guess Michelle has finally figured out that she's going to need to get up her ass about it. Blood in, blood out. It was inevitable, really.


Michelle: "What's your damage, Heather?"
Sasha: "What? You're so old."
Michelle: "If anybody should know that reference, it's you..."
Sasha: "No, we have Mean Girls and Jennifer's Body now. They're a lot like the movies you grew up with, but relevant."
Michelle: "Fanny's rule is that you can't come in late. My rule is, don't steal my shit. You're letting your friends down, and it's this beef you have with me that came out of nowhere and I don't..."
Sasha, sad and quiet: "I don't have a beef with you."

Michelle: "Why, then? Why put me in this role? This authority figure shit, and I'm talking about rules and behavior and I wagged my finger. I'm not a disciplinarian. I'm not a grownup, I don't want to be. I don't teach you anything, besides ballet. Get your bun in, and get your ass back downstairs, period. I can't believe you made me say 'period,' you punk-ass kid."

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