Every time they make a Twitter joke or a Facebook joke in this episode, an angel gets a urinary tract infection.
So the plumber shows up. And yeah, he's got an eyepatch, because why the hell not? It's not like we're doing anything else over here. He's played by Austin's own Todd Lowe, late of Gilmore and currently starring in one of True Blood's worst storylines ever devised, so why not pop on over to crazy-as-bugfuck Bunheads and strap on an eyepatch so you can really get into your craft. Here's hoping he hits on Truly, who is after all the only redhead on television more obnoxious than Arlene, and just go the full miracle mile on it. This is the one show I can think of that would actually be improved by a smoke monster, because then at least you would know there's a reason for all this shit to be happening, even if we never really found out what it was.
Plumber: "I'm just going to punch a million holes in your wall so I can find out where the plumbing is. For real."
Truly: "You hired the one-eyed plumber? Nobody hires him for plumbing, just Charlie Work. To keep an eye on things. Get it?"
Bunheads: "She's right. He keeps an eye on things. Get it?"
Michelle: "It's not funny. It's certainly not funny enough to say twice, and anyway, get out of here. You're changing in the boy's room for a few days. Boo, you look ravishing."
Michelle gives them a key to her house, and then says about one million words to Truly that I didn't get but seemed pretty funny. Truly wasn't hugely amused, but that's our Truly. She knows what's best for everybody, but not what's funny.
Melanie: "This is it? Thirty-four years of age and this is all she's got to show for it?"
Ouch. The twenty girls all go through her shit for a long time -- big feet, small boobs, etc. -- and Boo stresses about it until the girls that are not real Bunheads disappear from the room as if by magic, and then Sasha shows up and calls the place a shtetl.
Ray-Ray: "I'm still here, though. And we all know why."
Ginny: "We thought you were in military school!"
Sasha: "No, I get rewarded with attention whenever I act horrible, so let's go shopping on my parents' dime."