Bunheads
What's Your Damage, Heather?

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Blood In/Blood Out/La-La-La

OYSTER BAR

There's like a whole sushi bar or raw bar at this place, some angle we've never seen, but I guess now we know where it gets its name.

Michelle: "Boo! Eat a bunch of fried crap even though I just sat through an intense conversation with your mother about your diet!"
Boo: "No, I just want salad."
Michelle: "Nobody wants salad! Me and the other three ectomorphic freaks are here to act super weird and cunty about it!"

Bunheads: "We also have body issues. Everybody, see how many mixed messages about food and self-esteem and breasts and self-control and ballet anorexia and terrible motherhood and bizarre Feeder behavior you can cram into your fat face or your gross skinny body in the next sixty seconds! See, in the '90s, everything was fucked up and awful for feminism because the women who started feminism had their hearts broken and helicoptered their own daughters out of having any self-respect or agency for themselves. It's also where Ryan Murphy learned his gross second-wave gender politics, if you were wondering. Tasty!"

It goes on for a long, long time and I don't want to talk about it. Like, there's one stab at redemption where Michelle teases Boo that she put fries in her salad and scoops of sugar in her water, but paired with the obsessive way Boo keeps talking up her salad and how great it is, it's like watching somebody poke a zit that's not ready. The food thing with the Gilmores, it never bothered me, but maybe that was because they didn't talk about it. Now that it's on the table, it's creepin' me out. Like how if somebody mentions Quentin Tarantino's foot thing, all you see are feet from that day forth.

Gay Josh shows up out of nowhere and acts gay, and all the Bunheads are mean about him, and he's gone again, and Michelle can't believe they've been dating since second grade, and Ginny says they just clicked at an early age and Michelle says... They're children, Michelle.

Michelle: "Did you have a totally slutty first grade? When I was sixteen I dated a different boy every night. Twice a night, actually. And then more unrealistic weird shit."

Hey, why did Josh just wander through the scene? No matter. Don't ask stupid questions. Why did the plumber just randomly give the girls a dance analysis from the balcony in the middle of fighting with Truly? Let the strummy la-la take you away to a place where you either don't care so you don't notice these things, or so Zenlike and accepting that it doesn't bother you, or so stupid or ADD that it went over your head in the first place.

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Bunheads

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