What's Your Damage, Heather?

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: B-
Blood In/Blood Out/La-La-La

The whole time, Boo's boss is making her do shit, even though she's off the clock, and then at the end he comes to ask for help getting something down off a shelf and Michelle, after a moment, realizes he's talking to her... And that's the end of that scene.



Truly's got Terry up against the wall, of course, when Michelle makes it back home from her hours-long attempt to give the Bunheads even more sexual and body issues than they already have -- not to mention trying to break up Ginny and her gay boyfriend for no real reason and/or sabotage Boo's diet out of pure bloody-minded awfulness -- and then an angel gets a UTI, and Michelle fucks with Truly about fucking Terry in the dressing room. Why not just bring in Jackson Belville? I loved that guy.

Truly bursts into tears, which causes Michelle to break out into one of her more genuine smiles we've seen -- because she's terrible, just a terrible woman -- and then the ceiling starts dripping again. In case you thought there was a point to absolutely any of this, no. No! God. Where are you, New Amsterdam? Pull it together, ya Bunhead. We're in the shit now.


Michelle wakes up in the dressing room on the mildew floor, hearing the dripping from the ceiling, and empties the pail onto... Not a person, but some birds. Some tweeting birds that angrily fly away. Out in the Michelle Shed, the girls are on their phones -- UTI! -- and hanging out in her bedroom.

Michelle: "Do we even have class today? How long was I asleep, Boo?"
Boo: "No, we're just creeps."
Sasha: "You said we could use your place!"
Michelle: "True dat, but..."
Sasha: "-- Did you just say..."

Nerp. Stop right there. You cannot possibly be pulling rank on the way anybody talks on this show. It makes you look so unbelievably dorky it's literally not something one would be able to believe. You can't pull rank on somebody for talking like These Kids Today when that's literally all this show is ever doing. "'Whazzup,' Truly? What's the 'sitch'?" "'O.M.G.', did you just say 'sitch'? How 'busted' and 'crunk'. You better 'come correct' if you're going to 'throw shade' on a sista's out-of-context idiomizzle."

Michelle: "Get the fuck out of my house."
Sasha: "We drank all your Diet Coke."
Ginny: "Why do you sleep with peanut butter by your bed?"

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