What's Your Damage, Heather?

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 6 USERS: B-
Blood In/Blood Out/La-La-La

Michelle: "It's a legitimate coping strategy."

Okay, valid, but why is that jar of peanut butter open to the elements, with a spoon sticking out of it? That's fucking nasty. I was behind this whole plan until I saw the jar in question, just sitting there collecting hair and skin particles. Between this and Truly's slobber situation, I just decided what I'll say the day the Sherman-Palladinos invite me over for dinner. Which invite should be arriving shortly I'm sure, but Jesus.


Melanie: "Suddenly it has been three days and I still want to throw up from when Michelle made us all binge-eat fried food. Sometimes I eat so much food, and then I throw it up again because I feel too full and I hate myself! On any other show, that might be a problem. Here, on this show about and for teenage girls with body and food issues, it is a hilarious joke instead."
Boo: "I feel fine, because I just ate a salad that time we ate. Three days ago."
Ginny: "Melanie! Eat some French fries!"

Gay Josh: "Ginny, where have you been? I came to pick you up at three and you were nowhere to be found!"
Ginny: "Drama queen. Fuck off, suddenly. That's what you get for being in league with my mother on our anniversary. Or wait, actually this is because of Michelle, never mind."
Gay Josh: "I made six different liquor stores along your route let me watch their outdoor surveillance videos at gunpoint! Or some shit."
Ginny: "I walked with Melanie! As I told you I would."
Melanie & Josh: "None of that is true."

Ginny: "Look. Michelle explained to me that our relationship is unhealthy and I should be grosser, so I stopped behind the bleachers after school and tossed out a few handies. I didn't think you'd mind, given how you're doing the same exact thing."
Josh: "That is not our arrangement. Also, I forced the police department to file a missing persons report against their own policy. Or some shit."

Boo & Melanie: "Holy shit, did he just follow her into the bathroom?"



Michelle: "Hey, Truly, you stink of garlic. This is me apologizing, by the way."
Truly: "I feel weird about dry-humping a plumber in a childrens' dance studio. I think that's valid."
Michelle: "That was actually kind of funny. Now, gossip with me about him. I fucked a pirate once with a peg-leg. Why you being so weird about this?"

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