Burn Notice

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Method to the Madness

Back in his loft, he's got the phone open on his workbench and is tinkering around with its bedazzled guts. Meanwhile, he's VOing that using cell phone towers to triangulate a phone's location is tricky. Much better to use an enhanced GPS, which must be the little chip that Michael has just uncovered. Seeing a tiny slip of paper inside the inner cover, Michael tweezes it out and reads the legend inked thereon: "LEAVE THE GPS ALONE MICHAEL :( " It's the ":(" that really underscores the idea of Victor as Someone Not To Be Fucked With. Besides, as Michael VOs, you might end up killing the phone entirely if you try to disconnect the GPS from the motherboard. "A much simpler solution is call forwarding," his VO concludes as he flips open his own silver model to set up just that. Meanwhile, Fi comes down to give Michael the bullet on the security setup at Valentine's office: Ricky's getting them door codes, and the security cameras are wireless. "Of course, the tactical support I'm giving you will cost you," she adds. Specifically, Fi wants a new pair of shoes. "You've got plenty of shoes," Michael says. "Well, now that I'm on the open market, I need more," she retorts. Michael looks around like, "How is that my problem?" Well, Michael, I could get into that, but since it dates back to your Dublin assignment way back before the beginning of the series, I think we'll just move on.

Cut to a chaotic scene outside Valentine's offices, with ambulances and fire engines and cop cars swarming all around in the street, sirens howling. Michael VOs that pulling a fire alarm is useless for emptying a building: "No one pays attention unless they're actually on fire. A bomb scare next door to your target strikes the right balance. Everyone clears out and then pays attention to the other building." That would explain all the cops and firefighters trying to herd the milling civilians off the street outside "Dade Trust," which is right next door to Sweet Valentine Enterprises. Michael wanders onto this scene while on his cell phone with Fi, who says she called in a bomb threat. I love how cavalier they are about shit like that. "Oh, I called in a bomb threat." Oh, we're faking a bank robbery." "Oh, I'll call down a drug bust on some random boater." If you or I did that, I hope we'd at least feel a little bad about it. Fi clarifies that the bomb she claimed to have planted is a remote-activated model before hanging up. That segues into a Michael VO explaining that odd-looking piece of equipment the bomb-squad guy is turning on nearby: "Most modern bomb squads are equipped with an RF jammer. It blocks a wide spectrum of radio frequencies, preventing anyone from detonating bombs by remote control." It also appears to render cell phones useless, judging from the consternation of the people trying to call home and from Michael's VO. "Or wireless security cameras," he adds, one of which he walks right by as it blinks helplessly, allowing him to enter Valentine's offices unobserved through the back entrance. Sorry, but there's no way to not make that sound dirty.

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Burn Notice

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