Burn Notice

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
Method to the Madness

Later, as Eddie and Valentine leave a restaurant and part ways, Michael VOs that "once somebody's watching for cops, they see them everywhere." Sure enough, Eddie spots a black Buick parked across the street with a couple of people in dark clothes and sunglasses, one of whom is shooting pictures of him with a long lens. Of course the photographer is only Sam, and the woman in the passenger seat hasn't done much detective work since her Chris Cagney days. "Their paranoia does most of the work for you," Michael's VO explains. Of course Sam is keeping Madeline in the dark (and not just in terms of wardrobe) about the reason for this expedition, saying he's just looking at hotels and condos, which is how he's explaining the camera. "If you really want to find a new place, you're going to have to eventually go inside one, you know," Madeline advises. Still snapping away, Sam convincingly pleads a lack of emotional readiness.

Michael and Victor are sitting in that aforementioned Impala at the shipyard as Victor explains the deal: the item they're looking for is being shipped tomorrow. Victor will break into yon warehouse and nab it while Michael stays with the car and does lookout duty. Michael offers to take it himself, but Victor isn't about to let him peek. After that, they'll drive to the drop point, abandon the car, and split up. "Questions?" he asks. I have one: for this you burned a top agent? I could handle this mission in Grand Theft Auto, and I am the worst Grand Theft Auto player in the universe. Okay, fine, I'm not going to get an answer, so let's move on to Michael's question: "What are we taking again?" Yeah, that's not going to be answered either, as Victor says Michael already has all the information he needs. Quietly noticing a stack of blue plastic barrels standing out in the middle of the pavement, Michael argues that he needs more: "How heavy is the cargo? Are we talking about a big metal container or something fragile? If it's explosives, it will affect how I drive." Victor tells him it's just a wooden crate with no explosives. Seeing a security vehicle roll into view with two uniformed rent-a-cops inside, Michael asks what to do if the guards show up. Victor says to let him know, and as he pulls out his little .22, he clarifies, "I take care of them." Victor watches too many movies.

Back at the loft, Michael's working on altering that Impala. His voiceover says, as it's said before, that knowing what someone wants can tell you a lot about them. "So if what they want comes in a wooden crate that you're not going to be allowed to open, you might have to turn your trunk into a makeshift x-ray machine." Really? I might? Oh, man, I hate when I have to do that. We watch Michael pull the subfloor out of the Impala's trunk and start gathering his components. First up is an old picture tube, which Michael hides under the trunk's subfloor as his VO explains that among other things, it emits x-rays powered by 30,000 volts of electricity. But he claims that if you boost the power by hooking it up to a 100,000-volt taser gun -- which he duct-tapes to the base of the driver's seat where it'll be out of Victor's view after wiring it up -- "you won't be able to diagnose a hairline fracture, but you'll get the basic idea." Really? It's that easy? Don't I need, like, film or something? And a lead apron? And the proper amplitude? And someone to call 911 when I inevitably electrocute myself? Michael is just finishing up this project when his cell phone rings. The caller ID tells him to answer in his Jimmy voice. Yes, it's Eddie, wanting to meet immediately. Hope there's a club nearby.

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Burn Notice




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