Burn Notice

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M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Fi is learning that Lindsey's sister recently died, and she thinks Charles works with cancer research. As soon as she and Fi return, Charles drags Lindsey out as fast as he can. Fi's ready to go after Charles with her gun, but as Michael VOs that hanging out with criminals can be less dangerous than hanging out with their victims because "letting your emotions get the best of you can threaten the entire operation," Sam has to physically restrain Fi and promise to get Emily's money back another way. "If we don't, I will shoot him, then I'll shoot you," Fi threatens Sam. Wow, they don't usually have the plan B and plan C in place so quickly.

Next morning, Fi brings Michael to meet Emily, who's sticking a "for sale" sign on the sailboat she and her husband built from scratch. Tragic, isn't it? Michael and Fi tell Emily their real plan B: drug Charles, convince him he went on a spending spree while he was blacked out, and then snoop while he checks his accounts. "That plan sounds insane," Emily says, quite correctly. "Insane is one of our specialties," Fi agrees. The only part of that statement I would take issue with is the implied plural.

Sam drops by Charles's club to hand him a gold watch as a token of apology for invading his turf. He shit-talks Fi a bit, and Charles agrees, "There's nothing more pathetic than a bitch who can't move on." Because we'd hate to think a villain has any redeeming qualities. Sam chuckles in agreement, and Charles suddenly gets very share-y, confiding, "I have a mate across the pond who disposes of the clingy ones once he's wrung them out." Wow, give a guy a gold watch and he'll confess to anything. Has Kyra Sedgwick tried that on The Closer? Sam offers to buy Charles a drink, and thus begins Sam's amateur remake of The Hangover starring Charles. After any number of drinks, at least one of which gets powdered by Sam, we cut to the two of them in Charles's house with Fi, with Charles flat on his face and Fi just having finished some evil with Charles's phone, namely planting a bug in it and "drunk-texting" Lindsey with Charles's plans to rip her off. They return his phone and leave him there on the floor in a puddle of his own drool.

Jesse and Michael are sitting on stakeout in the Charger, and Jesse's starting to have doubts about the file pointing to Barrett and whether Sam's source is reliable. Michael, who really doesn't want to talk about this, puts him off until a bald thug shows up on the webcam feed, drawn by the signal from the cell phone they used to call Barrett. They watch gleefully as he finds the oil drum, reaches for the metal box inside, and then gets juiced by the defibrillator and totters to the floor with a myocardial infarction or something. Michael and Jesse burst into view, take him hostage (making sure to taunt him with the phone book he almost stole), and secure him with zip ties. Good plan, that, hanging out in the same place until Barrett sends more people. In fact, why did Barrett only send one person to begin with? There are no clues on the thug's phone, so that means hanging out here until his bosses check in with him. Too bad Michael can't be the one to hang around, because he's supposed to meet Sam and Fi, right? Wrong. "I'll pick up more bug spray," Jesse offers on his way out.

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Burn Notice




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