Burn Notice

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | 1842 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
I, Otter, Kill You

As Michael and Fi arrive at a modern art museum and walk across the grounds to the main building, Michael gives Fi a little backstory on Larry. Apparently they worked together in the Balkans in the early nineties, which means that they probably know Jack Bauer. "[Larry] made some poor choices before his death," Michael adds. Yeah, they definitely know Jack Bauer. Off Fi's confused look, Michael explains how 15 people watched Larry go into an oil refinery right before it exploded. "Apparently it was his way of taking early retirement." As they watch Jeannie get out of a blue Prius outside the museum, Michael explains the plan: he'll find out who hired Larry, then blackmail them into cancelling the job and paying Larry off. What he needs from Fi is some alone time with Jeannie. Fi agrees, as long as Michael is the one to break the news to Jeannie that she's a dead-ee. Michael agrees to that, but then he wants Fi to keep an eye on Jeannie afterwards. "Are you trying to keep me away from Campbell?" Fi asks. "Who?" Michael smirks as he heads to the door. Whatever, Michael's doing Campbell a favor.

Inside, Fi is acting like a groupie who wants to help out with Jeannie's upcoming charity event for the museum. She asks for Jeannie's e-mail address and gives her a pen to write it down, but the pen promptly blows up in Jeannie's hand. Since it's Fi, I should probably clarify that by "blowing up" I mean that it spurts ink all over Jeannie, and not that a charge of C4 laced with nitroglycerin turns her and everyone around her, including Fi, into a rain of sloppy giblets. Maybe next time. Jeannie excuses herself to the ladies' room to clean up.

While she's trying to get the ink off in the sink, Michael appears behind her in the mirror and softly says, "Jeannie?" Jeannie freaks, and is about to scream before the subtitles freeze-frame her with a succinct "Jeannie -- Dead-ee." But even the subtitles are only good for a few seconds of silence, and when they're up, Michael has to put his hand over Jeannie's mouth to keep her quiet. Her ink-covered hand clamps onto his shoulder, ruining his shirt. He probably should have given her a minute to get rid of that before approaching her, no? He insists that he isn't going to hurt her and asks her to keep quiet. When he takes his hand away, he explains, "I'm Michael. I'm here because somebody was hired to kill you." "Who?" she asks. "Me," he says. Sound's good in the episode preview all right, but it's not quite the thing to calm down a woman who's already on the verge of panic because you just materialized behind her like the goddamn Candyman. She's about to scream again, and Michael puts his hand back just in time. He explains that he's not going to do it, and removes his hand again. She asks who hired him, but as he belatedly locks the door, he says he doesn't know, although there aren't usually that many suspects. Sure enough, Jeannie only takes a moment to realize that it's Drew, her husband's son from his first marriage, who is living at the house with her. Apparently he considers Jeanie a gold-digger. Jeannie wants to just give Drew the money to have him back off, but Michael thinks that's too dangerous. And going to the cops is out of the question: "The people involved in this -- if they find out, we'll all be dead." Besides, this is Burn Notice, where the only reason to call the cops ever is to fool them into showing up when you need them. Michael promises to handle the situation, and adds that Jeannie has met Fiona, who will be posing as a friend from out of town as a pretext to have her stay at the house. Michael asks her to trust him. It's kind of a lot to take on faith from a guy who just accosted her in the women's room and told her all this with no supporting evidence, but she nods. So the question is not how Michael is going to keep her alive, but how someone this gullible lived to adulthood in the first place.

Burn Notice

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