Burn Notice

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A | Grade It Now!
I, Otter, Kill You

While she's trying to get the ink off in the sink, Michael appears behind her in the mirror and softly says, "Jeannie?" Jeannie freaks, and is about to scream before the subtitles freeze-frame her with a succinct "Jeannie -- Dead-ee." But even the subtitles are only good for a few seconds of silence, and when they're up, Michael has to put his hand over Jeannie's mouth to keep her quiet. Her ink-covered hand clamps onto his shoulder, ruining his shirt. He probably should have given her a minute to get rid of that before approaching her, no? He insists that he isn't going to hurt her and asks her to keep quiet. When he takes his hand away, he explains, "I'm Michael. I'm here because somebody was hired to kill you." "Who?" she asks. "Me," he says. Sound's good in the episode preview all right, but it's not quite the thing to calm down a woman who's already on the verge of panic because you just materialized behind her like the goddamn Candyman. She's about to scream again, and Michael puts his hand back just in time. He explains that he's not going to do it, and removes his hand again. She asks who hired him, but as he belatedly locks the door, he says he doesn't know, although there aren't usually that many suspects. Sure enough, Jeannie only takes a moment to realize that it's Drew, her husband's son from his first marriage, who is living at the house with her. Apparently he considers Jeanie a gold-digger. Jeannie wants to just give Drew the money to have him back off, but Michael thinks that's too dangerous. And going to the cops is out of the question: "The people involved in this -- if they find out, we'll all be dead." Besides, this is Burn Notice, where the only reason to call the cops ever is to fool them into showing up when you need them. Michael promises to handle the situation, and adds that Jeannie has met Fiona, who will be posing as a friend from out of town as a pretext to have her stay at the house. Michael asks her to trust him. It's kind of a lot to take on faith from a guy who just accosted her in the women's room and told her all this with no supporting evidence, but she nods. So the question is not how Michael is going to keep her alive, but how someone this gullible lived to adulthood in the first place.

At home, Michael's changing out of his ink-stained shirt and thus displaying a nasty, Seymour-inflicted bruise on his back to the camera. When his mom shows up, ostensibly to share some leftovers, she sees the bruise and freaks, but Michael claims he just "fell down at work." Yeah, he "fell down" after a dude clocked him with a Louisville Slugger. So clumsy. Madeline doesn't buy it, and starts frustratedly spouting therapy-speak: "Do you have any idea how hard it is to have an honest exchange with you when you're withholding like this?" "You reading a book or something?" Michael asks. She says she's seeing a counselor, and wants him to come to a session with her. He reminds her that they tried that already and she quit. She says she wants to try again (because this is one of a dwindling number of areas where the show hasn't repeated itself yet), and adds that the new counselor thinks "the best place to facilitate a dialogue is in the home." Read: no budget for an office set this week. She leans on him with a rather weak threat: "If you won't do this for me, then I don't know what to say." I'd be like, "you've got a deal!" But instead, Michael agrees to come to tomorrow's appointment at her house at one o'clock.

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Burn Notice




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