Burn Notice

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Stacey's Mom

Inside, Fi tells Randall the deadbeat she wants her client's $20,000, casting a skeptical look at the cash piled on the card table when he smugly claims not to have it. Outside, Michael is watching his watch count down past 15 seconds, which even Paxson doesn't fail to notice. Michael has a good story for her: "I'm just picking up a friend from a poker game. She consumed an alcoholic beverage; I volunteered to be her designated driver." With less than ten seconds left, Michael pulls out his cell phone to call her, but Paxson says not to. And inside, Fi has gotten to the point in the discussion with Randall where she threatens to deliver Randall himself if she can't deliver the money. "You're going to carry me out yourself?" he sneers. "No, I'll have a little help," she smirks back. Her watch beeps, and she glances expectantly toward the door. Which is not being blown open by Michael in any sense of the word. Suddenly Fi's facing an angry-looking Randall and two even angrier-looking goons, and when she looks out the front window, she sees that her cavalry is too busy chatting with Paxson to ride to her rescue. Realizing she's on her own now, she socks Randall, then picks up a chair and uses it to smash first one of the goons and then Randall's picture window. Out she hops into the driveway, drawing looks from Paxson and Michael of varying degrees of curiosity. "She may have consumed two alcoholic beverages," Michael mildly tells Paxson. Fi runs up to them, just as Randall and his goons come out the front door and stop short when they see the fuzz. "Great party! I'll see you later!" Fi fake-drunks to them as they go back inside, almost as though she could hear what Michael was telling Paxson. Paxson says she's not really interested in getting an explanation. Instead, she brought Michael "some babysitters," by which she means the two uniformed cops in the squad car. Looks like Michael's stuck with a permanent tail. As she heads back to her car, Michael tells Fi, "Looks like we have a chaperone on our date tonight."

The evening does indeed find them at dinner, looking out at the police car from their table at... Carlito's. Obviously Fi's a little disappointed at the venue, after Michael promised to bring her someplace nice. "I said that when I thought we were going to be five grand richer," Michael reminds her. Oh, like he would have taken the money anyway. So Fi gets back at him in typically mature fashion by ordering the most expensive dessert on the menu. Her "date" becomes even more disappointing when Sam plops himself down in the seat next to Michael, resplendent in a bright pink shirt and expositing that he's getting audited. At least Paxson isn't behind this. "Something about deducting mojitos," Sam sighs, and comments on the police escort he couldn't help noticing outside. Michael says it's going to get someone killed. You know, Michael, it's okay to just be annoyed by stuff once in a while. Not everything has to be life and death. Sam says he's been trying to find some dirt on Paxson to get her to back off, but she's "too clean to blackmail." Fi's giant dessert arrives, and Sam realizes something's up. "Is this a date?" he asks, shocked at the very idea that Michael and Fi might be trying to act like a normal couple. And understandably so. Michael answers in the affirmative and Fi answers in the negative at the same time. Having heard the answer he was hoping for, Sam asks the server for another spoon so he can share the dessert. Fi looks annoyed, as though eating that whole thing herself wouldn't double her weight.

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Burn Notice

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