Burn Notice

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M. Giant: A- | Grade It Now!
Under the Counter

Down by the yacht, Virgil and Madeline are having kind of an emotional reunion, one that Virgil apparently wasn't prepared for. She says she followed him from Michael's place, and asks if Michael told him to stay away. Virgil defends Michael for his protectiveness and even quotes him, saying, "I tend to attract bullets." Madeline tells him to tell Michael that she can take care of herself. Fair enough; I've noticed that her first-season hypochondria seems to have cleared up wonderfully. But Virgil decides to do the right thing and blow her off, stone-cold. She's crushed, but she leaves. What's Michael so worried about? They were in that scene together for like a full minute and nobody shot at them once.

Gerard has taken Michael back to the bar that seems to serve as his base of operations, and Michael's waving a pen and notebook around as he keeps asking questions about the storage conditions. Gerard tells him to make a list of what he needs, and take his time. "You have all night; you're staying with us until we pull this job off tomorrow." This is unwelcome news to both Jackson and Michael, as Gerard orders one of his henchmen, a poor man's Jason Segel, not to let Michael out of his sight and leaves him to it. With surprising calmness, Michael tells Poor Man's Jason Segel that he needs to call in sick or his bosses will get suspicious. Rather than interrupt his own boss while he's hitting on a redhead, Poor Man's Jason Segel lets Michael make one call, and he's going to be standing there the whole time.

Michael reaches Fi in her car, on her way to a movie. Which, you know, explains why she's got her Bluetooth on. She's not happy to hear from him, especially since he calls her "Boris" and says he isn't going to make it into the office. He tells "Boris" to call him at extension 1820 if he needs anything before Poor Man's Jason Segel takes the phone away and hangs it up. In her car, Fi dials Sam and asks what 1820 means. "A place in the marina. Why?" Sam asks. "I'm going to miss my movie," she says. And speaking of missing things, how did Poor Man's Jason Segel not recognize that Michael was giving secret directions to where he was right now? I fear I have insulted not only Jason Segel, but poor men.

Gerard and crew lead Michael out of the bar as he VOs, "When you need to distract someone without raising suspicions, it helps to play to preconceptions. Tourists are fat, old people are cranky, and girls can't drive." With that, Fi backs her Saab right into the back of Gerard's car, causing more noise than apparent damage. She plays the dizzy chick, using the old "I was putting on my makeup" excuse and offering to give him her insurance info. "How about just your number and we'll call it even?" he slimes. She asks him for a pen, but he's not that kind of guy. She asks some other people until she "finds" Michael in the back of Gerard's car and asks him for a pen like they don't know each other. As he hands it over, he quietly tells her in his normal voice, "They're not letting me leave. Tell Sam the fake heist is on for real now." "I missed my date," she whispers back, and adds, "Thank you!" Michael doesn't look like that's the worst news he's heard all day. I would submit that it's even better news for Fiona's date.

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Burn Notice




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