Burn Notice

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
I, Spy

Michael VOs about how intelligence gathering is all about blending in. "If you're hunting for intel in the Middle East, that means a beard and a djellaba. If you're doing it on South Beach, you're probably wearing a swimsuit and flip-flops." Yes, our leads are once again dressed for a pool party, but this time they're making a return visit to the palatial home of Fi's arms dealer friend, Seymour. You remember him, don't you? "Hope he's still not mad about the faceful of gunpowder last time he dropped by," Michael reminisces. "Well, he was pretty enchanted with you once upon a time," Fi reminds him. "Yeah, he showed it when he attacked me with a baseball bat," Michael recalls. Now you remember him, right? Fi asks Michael to put sunscreen on her shoulders (too late), and he offers to talk about "what happened the other night." Fi acts like it was nothing: "We were just blowing off some steam, right?" Oh, look who's playing hard to get all of a sudden. Michael lets it drop, possibly because he's wondering who this person is who's pretending to be Fi, and how she got into the costume.

Out back, Seymour's got a pool party in full swing. It seems to be him, his bodyguard/smoothie maker Jackass, and about 50 bikini chicks. I do not understand the demographics of this. Michael VOs about how you can't hold grudges in intelligence gathering: "The guy who hit you with a baseball bat could be an information source today." Especially if the slugger is an entertaining character who's popular with the viewers. Michael and Fi walk in unnoticed, and she positions herself near Jackass while he approaches Seymour... who freaks out and screams "Security!" the moment he lays eyes on Michael. Jackass draws a gun, but Fi gets it away from him and has him on the deck with a knee to the groin almost before the subtitles remember they have a job to do. "Seymour -- Arms Dealer," they read, over a shot of Seymour. He says that since Jackass demonstrated his uselessness the last time he tangled with Michael and Fi, Seymour has taken his security into his own hands. With that, he pulls a gun on Michael. "You have hollow-points in there!" Michael marvels. Seymour is surprised that Michael can tell just by looking, but it's just a ploy to distract Seymour so Michael can snatch the weapon from him and grab him around the neck from behind. Michael tells him to calm down; he just wants some help tracking someone down. "You are such a bad-ass," Seymour tells him, totally turned on by Michael's display of prowess. "It's kind of awesome." Seymour agrees to help, if Michael will teach him some moves. "Sure," Michael says, and everyone's friends again. After letting Seymour go, Michael has to remind him that he's looking for an explosives expert named Derek Poole. Seymour's on board for the manhunt, but asks for some cash to "open doors." Michael shakes his head, but that doesn't seem to be a deal-breaker for Seymour: "Okay, I'll front you, because I know you're good for it." And of course he'll want to be in contact with Michael at all times, because he's in love with him. "You and me, bad-asses, in this together." Then he turns to Jackass and says, "See how they just laid you out again? That is called teamwork, people, and it's a beautiful thing." And when Seymour orders up some mango smoothies, we've gotten Seymour's whole shtick reestablished in three efficient minutes. If you don't remember Seymour now, you have only yourself to blame.

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Burn Notice




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