Californication
Fear And Loathing At The Fundraiser

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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Fear And Loathing At The Fundraiser

Hank is mingling. He sees Exy and calls her "the former Mrs. Moody." She reminds him (and us) that she was never officially a Moody. Hank says she was moody even if she wasn't a Moody. She fires back that if he'd made her a Moody she'd have been less moody. I was kind of wondering when they'd exhaust that pun. Week Four, it turns out. Shakespeare, in the grave, breathes a sigh of relief. Through his dusty bones, somehow. Hank offers to take her to Vegas right now and marry her with a stop at In-N-Out on the way. She says no. She asks him to be on his best behavior as he takes a big drink. Exy says that you never know what to expect from Hank or his "dong." He asks how that's not a virtue. Hank tells her she looks beautiful tonight. She thanks him. Hank spots Carr's wife and buries his head in Exy's shoulder. She squirms, and we see a huge snaky tattoo on her left shoulder running down her back. Nice! Hank, done hiding, pretends it was a hug and disengages. Exy is exasperated.

Charlie in his workspace, getting ready to go all James Spader. He tells Dani to bring the script to his office. Dani answers the phone and passes on a call from Charlie's wife, Marcy. As Dani drops her skirt in front of Charlie, he asks Marcy about Angelina's "cookie." Dani takes off her shirt. She gets on all fours and carries the script between her teeth. Charlie says the phone call is breaking up. He says he's losing her and has to go. Dani presents the script to Charlie. She asks him to tell her what to do. He asks what happens if she doesn't want to do what he tells her. She says he's missing the point. She starts to unbutton his shirt as he looks nauseous.

Fundraiser. Meredith introduces Hank to two of her colleagues. The woman recognizes Hank, The Writer, but he says that these days he's Hank, The Blogger. The husband thinks Hank's blog is entertaining, and the wife wonders what Hank will write about this party. They haven't learned not to get Hank started and -- oh, there he goes, they just got him started. Hank takes a sip and says he finds it interesting that these people are fighting for the environment, but they'll load up on jet fuel to fly privately to Cabo for the weekend. Ooh, devastating! Save that gold for your blog, Hank! It's too sexy! Nooooo! Please, Hank! Save it! You are THE SEXY! Hank, smugly and loudly, tells "Babs" he said so and to pass it on to Oprah. The guy asks if Meredith will come with him to get a drink. Socialite Wife praises Hank's really good writing. She says she writes herself. Hank suddenly recognizes her as a Hollywood writer who does "clit-lit" stuff about trophy wives. She says it's masturbation material for North Montana hausfraus. What a lovely woman with a non-condescending worldview. Hank says he's all wet. Clit-Lit says she's always looking for new material. She taps Hank's hand. Hank asks what's wrong with her and her husband. She says that her husband and Meredith have been playing grab-ass for years now. Is this who Hank stole the dog from? Hank excuses himself. He goes to Meredith and grabs her by the arm, dragging her off. He asks what she's doing. She lies that she didn't know Married Guy was gonna be there, then admits that she knew. Hank is annoyed by the lie. But he relishes the thought of creating some chaos. He dips her and kisses her in front of Married Guy, who fumes.

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Californication

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