Californication
Fear And Loathing At The Fundraiser

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Omar G: B- | Grade It Now!
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Fear And Loathing At The Fundraiser

We go to Exy's house, where Beccabot 3000 is hanging around, strumming a guitar while Mia watches her. She says she wants to be a forty-year-old virgin. Mia asks why. Beccabot thinks that once you get laid, your life turns to shit. That's sort of true, but it's also the moment your life turns awesome. Mia says it's not so bad. "You've had The Sex?" Becca asks, a bit robotically. Did they take you to Their Sex Leader? Mia says she has. Beccabot asks what it's like. Like doing it with your stepsister's father is what it's like. Mia, who was verbose till now, says it's "good." She adds that it's powerful, but then she tries to change the subject. Mia asks if Becca misses her dad. She does. "I miss my mom," Mia says. Becca says that Exy really likes Mia. Mia likes her too, but Mia says it's not the same. Mia asks if Becca likes Bill. "Sure. He's nice," she says, all noncommittal. Mia says Bill's not like Hank. Mia says Becca's really lucky. Sure doesn't feel that way. Becca strums. She should play Robot Future.

At the fundraiser, Exy runs into a guy who spills his drink on her. She suggests he could look where he's going. He calls her a cunt. Then he tries to spin it off into "I cunt hear you." Exy shoves him. Bill shows up and grabs her, asking what happened. She tells Bill. The guy lies about calling her a cunt. Bill says she should have come to get him and that it's not the place to make a scene. Asshole Bumper says he's not looking to press charges. Exy starts to go after him again. Bill asks if Exy wants the guy thrown out. She doesn't; she just wants to go. Asshole is smirking. Bill catches it. Bill ignores the guy and they walk away.

Charlie's office. He's having an Austin Powers photo shoot. Despite it being Showtime, Dani does all her modeling with her bra and panties still on. Charlie has taken his pants off and whips her a little bit. The jaunty music slows down dramatically as Hank walks in without knocking. What, no record-needle scratch? "Holy fucknuts!" Hank says. Charlie scrambles to his feet. "Don't you fucking KNOCK!?" Charlie yells. Hank asks if Charlie doesn't lock. Dani gets down off the desk. Hank tells "Diane Arbus" to take it easy and worries about Charlie having a heart attack. Charlie is hacking and coughing. Hank calls Dani "Betty Page" and tells her to clock out. Now Hank gets to be superior for a bit. Charlie recovers. They both laugh. Hank slaps Charlie on the back of the head. Hank calls him a big, fat cliché. "She started it, man!" Charlie whines. Uh. Good one. That'll hold up in court. Charlie doesn't know what happened. Hank admits that this whole thing sounds hot, but says that Charlie needs to get his shit together. Charlie beats himself up about it. Hank offers advice in the most annoyingly hipster way: "If you're having problems in the boudoir, maybe it's worth a conversation with the old lady." Yeah, you do that, bro. You and your old lady should have yourselves a rap session and smooth things out till they're groovy again. Charlie says that ship has sailed. Hank says he thinks Marcy would be into some freaky shit if Charlie asked. Charlie hugs Hank and starts crying. Mortifying.

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Californication

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