Hank at his "writing" desk. Someone is knocking at the door. Hank tells them to fuck off. We don't see who's at the door, but Hank makes a show of spelling out "B-to-the-I-to-the-double-L" and calls him "My nig-nog." Uh-huh. Hank isn't too happy to see Bill at his place. Bill says he wanted to talk in person. It's about Mia. Bill says she's in high school. Hank assumes Bill knows they had sex and acts really guilty. He says he's sorry. Hank squirms and says he's glad Bill showed up so they can get on the same page in this fucked-up situation. Bill asks what Hank is talking about. Bill asks if he's stoned or drunk. Hank plays it off. Bill asks for a favor. He says he was supposed to be a guest speaker at Mia's school, but has to go out of town. Hank asks "Willamina" how this should affect him. Bill asks Hank to step in for him. He says it's a creative writing class. Bill was going to talk about publishing, but he says Hank can talk about not-writing. Hank asks what's in it for him. Bill asks what he wants. "Call off the wedding," Hank asks. Uh, no. Hank likes Bill's jacket. He'll take it.
School. Girls in Catholic-school uniforms walk around as Hank shows up in his sunglasses and hipster oldster leather jacket. He hands a lit cigarette to a girl in the hall after asking if she smokes. Hank in class. Wearing his sunglasses in front of all the students, he suggests they do anything else but become a writer, including being a pharmaceutical rep or becoming an umpire. He says being a writer blows. It's like having homework the rest of your life. Wait a minute...fuck, he's right! Awwwwwww! God DAMMIT! A cute girl in the back asks if he's single. "Who would have me?" he asks. All the girls raise their hands. The teacher sits in a seat up front. A bell rings. The teacher thanks Hank for coming in on short notice. He promises to take a cigarette break. The teacher says that Hank is a fucking rock star. Hank says that anyone with half a cock and one ball would be that in an all-girl school. Trying...not...to...visualize. The teacher says it's the best job he ever had. Hank is creeped out, especially when the teacher refers to his little penis T.A. Hank warns the guy that he could go to jail. This as he's waving bye to all the girls. The creepy teacher says they're all on the cusp of their "womaninity." The teacher tells the sob story of how he's written three novels, and they're all stuck in a drawer, and instead of writing screenplays, he fights the good fight to teach an appreciation for good writing. Hank snarks about the guy fucking anyone who's stupid and bored enough to do him. The teacher brings up Mia and says she's a good writer. He says she's written some good short stories. The teacher, the worst one ever, says maybe he's grading on a curve because Mia gives him wood. He says the prose was stiff and there wasn't much character development. He says she was trying too hard. The girls are still staring at Hank. He bails through a window instead of passing them.