Californication
Californication

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C | 1178 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
LOL

Restaurant. Hank and Marcy are eating together. Hank says he doesn't want to take sides, but warns her never to stick her finger in a man's ass without warning. NEVER! Marcy is explaining that other guys she's been with like it. She cutely overlaps with Hank as he says that yes, it's an erogenous zone, but to be gentle with the brown eye. "Mr. Brown Eye is a sensitive man," Hank says. Charlie shows up, with Meredith in tow. Charlie kisses Marcy, but Meredith doesn't kiss Hank. She heard the radio show. "LOL," she says. Uh-O. She asks if he's been telling everyone what an airhead she is. She's not happy. Meredith asks everyone if that's why Hank can't keep a girlfriend: because they have to live up to some "ridiculous fucking gold standard." She says Hank's got some flaws of his own. Marcy and Charlie both try to change the subject, but Meredith asks if he wants to hear some. She says he drinks too much, writes too little. The only exercise he gets is in the bedroom. He loves women, hates himself. Anyone who loves him is ultimately deemed a fool. She says since that could be anyone, she's saying goodbye. Hank says he seems to have hurt her and wants to apologize. He says this is about something else. He asks her what that is. "BRB, Hank," she says. Marcy gets up to go after her, but before she leaves, she tells Charlie that getting "aggro" about a little "stinky pinky" is a symptom of a much bigger problem. She dips her pinky in her martini, sucks on it, then takes the drink with her. Charlie pretends not to know what she's talking about. "Bitches," Hank says. Yay! The return of Pussyman! Let's go sleep with some strangers!

Hank at Exy's. She's on her computer outside and catches him sneaking around. She thinks it was cool that he went to Mia's school. He asks that they never send Becca to school there. "How's my girl?" Hank asks. Exy talks about her work and Hank corrects her, saying he was asking about Becca. Exy's a little embarrassed. Exy tells Hank about the crush on the guitar teacher. Hank asks if Exy likes him, too. She admits that Dave is pretty fucking hot. Hank asks if he can take Becca out for ice cream. Exy says she's asleep. Hank asks if, in their past life, he made her feel stupid or was mean. She says he wasn't mean. She says he can be pretty hard on people. Hank wishes it were different. She says it's not. She asks about Meredith. Hank says she's pissed at him. Exy asks if he's wearing Bill's jacket. Hank says it's a long story, but he's gotta go. Later!

Californication

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