Californication
LOL

Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
LOL

We've spun enough narrative thread that the show now has to tell us what happened previously on Californication.

Super artsy shot of The Duch, backlit, bathed in warm light as he glides toward us in a church. Uh-oh. We're back in unholy territory here. Is he going to get fisted on the altar this time? Funky, bombastic music plays as Hank grins at the African-American Jesus on the altar. "I'm back and...you're black, which is cool; I'm a big fan of Black Jesus," Hank raps. Hank gives Black Jesus, who has His hands outstretched, a high-five. If this is a dream, which I'm assuming it is, why is Hank all sweaty? Someone at a nearby organ vamps. It's a priest, who asks if he can be of assistance. Hank says he was just rapping with "J.Z." up there. The priest is Bill The Putz. Hank asks if the padre doesn't have some grab-ass to play with an altar boy. This show just keeps getting better and better. My God, how edgy and controversial and completely full of shit this is. Bill has a weird comb-over going. Hank thinks Padre Bill just checked out his package. Wait, is this not Bill? I totally thought this was Bill. Maybe it's not Bill. Hank asks if the priest wants to suck his cock. Not like, "Please do so," but more like, "You don't want to suck my cock, do you?" The priest asks if Hank wants him to do that. Hank asks if the priest wants him to want him to do that. Can we stop now? Please? Hank says he's there about a girl. A girl who is beautiful and funny and smart and up for all kinds of intercourse. Sarah Silverman? The priest says the girl is not Exy and that Exy doesn't love him anymore. "She loves me," the priest says. Ah yes, Bill The Putzy Priest. Just then, Exy walks in, in full nun's habit. Rock music plays. She swings her cross. Padre Bill dips her and they make out. Bill gives Hank the finger as they're kissing. Hank frowns. The camera and Hank pull back from the scene.

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Californication

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