Episode Report Card
Omar G: C- | 1 USERS: A+

Outside, Mia is waiting. Hank, ruffled, asks what's up with Mia and the teacher. She asks if he means carnal knowledge. "Not yet," she says. He tells her to be careful. Mia brings up the fact that they've already had sex. Hank says that was an accident. They get into Hank's convertible. Mia whines that since she can't get Hank back in the sack, she'll have to settle for the creepy teacher. She leans over to fake-kiss Hank, and he tells her to get out of the car. She calls him "Hankarella" as he leaves.

Exy's house. Beccabot 3000, wearing a print outfit and her hair in pigtails, asks mom how she looks. Exy says it's a guitar lesson, not a fashion show. Becca says rock and fashion are all one world. Mia, sitting nearby, says the instructor is cute. Becca runs off to change again. Dave, a grungy-looking dude with curly hair, is wearing a black shirt with simple white text. It says, "fuck sting." Is that a comment on the musician or a series of verbs? Exy doesn't like the shirt. "I think it's cool," Mia says. Exy says it's Becca. Dave's not used to such a young and promising student. Mia suggests he could turn the shirt inside-out. He does so, right in front of them, showing off his pasty, wiry frame. Becca comes back downstairs, in jeans and a Rolling Stones T-shirt. She catches the shirt-changing and she likey. Mia says she liked the shirt off better, but that's just her. Beccabot and Dave go upstairs.

Driving in L.A. montage. We end up in a radio studio where Mr. Henry Rollins is introducing Hank as a guest on his show. He mentions Hank's novels, including South of Heaven and Seasons in the Abyss. I can't look at Henry Rollins without thinking of that video. You know the one. "Cuz I'm a LIIIIIAAAAARRRRRRR!" God, that rocks. Henry asks how he's doing. Hank says he's a little under the weather, but all right. Henry compares the wait for Hank's new novel to the wait for the new Guns 'n Roses album. Rollins asks which one will come out first. Hank says he hopes he gets there first and that he hopes he makes it into Oprah's book club. He says he wants to sit on Oprah's couch and ask her about that scene in Belovedwhere she squats and pees. Rollins looks aghast. Hank sips from a little alcohol bottle he brought with him. Rollins, lamely, says that Hank's new blog is generating a lot of water-cooler talk. About how shitty it is? "I was going to drink from this water cooler, but then I read Hank Moody's blow, and now I'd rather use it to wash myself." Hank says it's just stuff coming out of his ass, things he needs to vent. Hank is asked what he's obsessing over now. He says that we're getting dumber and dumber and that computers have become "four-figure wank machines." Hank says all the Internet has given us is Howard Dean's aborted campaign and 24-hour access to kiddy porn. So. Profound. I may cry. Hank rants about people blogging instead of talking and texting instead of talking. He brings up the "LOL" thing. He says it's stupid people talking with other stupid people in a proto-English language. Rollins says that Hank is part of the problem. As is this show, no? Hank confirms his self-loathing and takes another sip.

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