Californication
The Whore Of Babylon

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The Whore Of Babylon

Hank is at the bar, later. Meredith approaches him. She tries to peg him with a description the way he did to her. She's been working on this speech for weeks! She guesses his dad was blue collar, his mom was beaten-down, he had sisters, and he was too good with girls. She says he went to New York and reinvented himself as the poor man's McInerney. Hank says she was nicer than his description of her. Hank asks how long she's been working on that. "A couple of weeks," she admits. I'm writing this live on a first viewing. I had no idea that line was actually coming when I wrote that earlier. "Any idea how it ends?" Hank asks. With you two fucking? Am I close?

Hank and Meredith have sex. Wow, I didn't see that coming at all. Artsy room-tilting shot as the two of them make out in bed. Meredith ends up on top of Hank, which it seems is how it always goes with this guy.

Can I take a moment to reveal that I'm trying to recap this scene with my mother-in-law and newborn daughter in the room? It's not easy, is all I'm saying.

Meredith turns into Mia, who punches Hank right in the face. We cut to black. Hank wakes up, shirtless, the next morning. Meredith is getting dressed for work. He asks what she does. She reminds him that she's the poor gal's Martha Stewart. Turns out she's actually a divorce attorney. Hank asks why she was going to leave without saying goodbye. Meredith thinks he's a one-night-stand kind of guy. He asks her on a proper date that night. They kiss. She leaves. Hank gets up. He's wearing some snug shorts. He goes to the bathroom to pee. Mia saunters into the room and interrupts, asking if he's going to flush. Uh, maybe when he's done peeing, young lady! Give the man some space! She says the redhead let her in. She asks "Hanky-Panky" if the carpet matches the drapes. What, in the room? I'm not even sure Hank has carpet that...ohhhh. I just got that. Hank asks why she's there. "I'm late," she tells him. Hank freaks out, stuttering that he wore a condom. "I'm late for school," she adds. She wants Hank to write something for her for a creative writing class. She starts digging around for a "piece-of-shit short story" he may have hanging around. Hank hears Exy show up. He tells Mia to calm the fuck down while she smiles at him, all evil.

Hank tries to be all charming and get Exy out of there, but she wants coffee. Exy finds a condom on the counter. It's a Magnum, which surprises her. She asks if he had a growth spurt. He says he's been working out. Exy asks him not to quit his blogging job. Hank doesn't want to work for Bill. Exy tells him to do what he was put on Earth to do: write. As opposed to "drowning in a sea of pointless pussy." Pointless Pussy is actually a character in Hello Kitty, I thought. There's a thud. Hank pretends it was the neighbors. Does Exy not know that Mia is there? Exy tries to go into the bedroom and Hank tries to stop her. Exy begs Hank to keep the blogging job for Becca. So Becca can read his thoughts on L.A. cock and pussy online? Nice parenting, Exy. Hank goes back to the bedroom. Mia is gone. A box of his files has been rifled through.

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Californication

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