Californication
The Whore Of Babylon

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The Whore Of Babylon

Hank's place, morning. Cat Stevens is licking David Duchovny in the face. Best sentence I've gotten to write tonight. Meredith is getting ready for work again. They both agree that this is dating. Hank tells her to take the dog. It turns out that's not Cat Stevens. Hank grabbed the wrong dog. She suggests he keep the dog.

Charlie's office. Dani brings Charlie some coffee while giving him sultry looks. "This is not a macchiato!" he yells. He asks what he's going to do with her. "Whatever you want, boss," she says. She knocks over the mug and breaks it. Charlie closes the door, via remote. She lifts up her skirt and exposes her bare ass. Charlie starts to spank her, hard. Huh. ["Seriously, you hallucinated this while in the throes of adorable-baby-induced sleep deprivation, didn't you?" -- Miss Alli]

Exy's house. Hank shows up with the painting he stole. He sees Exy looking at her wedding invitation. She agrees it's weird; she never thought she'd get married. Hank says she's settling. Hank tries to kiss her. Bill sees this. Putz. Hank offers Bill the painting to replace the one he yakked on. Exy says that painting is worth a small fortune. Hank says he knows people and to consider this a belated engagement gift. Exy says he seems happy for once. Hank says, "Maybe I met a girl." Becca shows up. Hank brings her the dog. Hank tells Bill not to worry; the dog can stay with him. Everybody loves Hank all of a sudden. Mia shows up. Bill is all proud of her for writing a short story that, despite some purple prose, was pretty good. Bill must be in on the short-story stealing. Bill asks about the blog. Hank asks if, quoting The Clash, he should stay or rock the Casbah. Becca says she'll love him either way.

On the beach. Hank narrates his next blog column while he, Becca, Exy, and the dog frolic on the beach. We see this as if it were old movie footage, but it's happening right now. Hank says mistakes were made and hearts were broken. He says his family goes on without him as he drowns in a sea of pointless pussy. He says time's running out for him to figure things out and that his daughter won't always love him unconditionally. Nice that the episode is actually about his daughter after we only see her in the last minute.

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Californication

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