Calling (1)

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Snideface: The Revenge

Lana is riding her horse. She's wearing lots of blue again. She stops the horse in front of Clark and dismounts. Boy, is she tiny. She and Dr. Dropkick could be stunt doubles for Tom Cruise when he wears his hair long. Clark says that the night before was a big deal for him, and that if she doesn't feel the same way, she doesn't have to avoid calling him. Has it even been a day yet since their conversation at the Talon? Lana says it meant a lot to her, too. She says that things just feel a lot more complicated. I hereby blame Avril for giving teen girls everywhere an adjective for relationships that doesn't really say a goddamned thing. Clark asks whether this is about Chloe. No. It's About the Lana. All Lana, All the Time. Lana says that she is concerned about what's-her-face. She says that there are three friendships at stake, and that she doesn't want to lose the one with Clark. The other two? She could take them or leave them. Clark says that the friendship isn't going to go anywhere; it's just going to become something better. Oh, you poor, stupid man. Lana asks what happens if things don't work out. She asks if their friendship will survive. Clark doesn't know. He says he's wanted this for so long, he thinks it's worth taking a chance. Suddenly, we hear a floating voice: "The day is coming," it says. Lana doesn't hear it, but Clark starts getting distracted. He turns. The horse makes a noise. Overhead camera zooms down on Clark as he looks up. We hear the voice repeat itself. Lana looks freaked out. "I'm sorry, I have to go," Clark says. And he does. Kansan Man of Mystery.

Padded walls, mental ward. Snideface is up and walking, wearing white pajamas and pacing a cell, muttering, "The day is coming." Outside a huge round window, Lex and Jr. Doctor are watching. "What do you think it means?" Lex asks. Probably that it's nighttime. Lex says that the brain scans show Snideface's noggin is normal again. Snideface bangs on the glass. Hey, remember the day? Well, it's coming. Don't forget. His cataracts are gone. He goes back to pacing. Jr. Doctor -- who looks a little like James Spader -- says that the cataracts faded over the course of a day. They went to the Catarondacks. Lex asks how you could explain that. Well, I could, but it would ruin the pun. The young doctor says they need to sedate Snideface for his own safety. Snideface holds up a hand. Stop! In the name of love! "The day is coming," he says, lest we forget. He shoots a blue electric beam and shatters the glass. Lex and the doctor do a James Brown and jump back, kiss themselves. Snideface runs right past them. There's no security? Lex looks on after the departed professor and doesn't even give chase.

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