Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 2 USERS: A+
Three Faces Of Dawn

"Caprica/ Let us celebrate/ Raise our heads/ Despite the weight/ And all her joys/ We exude/ Caprica abides/ Caprica/ Let us persevere/ Shield ourselves/ From doubt and fear/ And all the sorrows/ [Whatever takes the metric weight of "we exude"; I suggest "we protrude," "sock'd and shoed," "in the nude," or possibly "don't be crude"] / [And then probably "Caprica abides" again, but who the hell knows. Bear. Bear McCreary knows, ask him.]." It's all very pretty, and much like an anthem.

Zoë would like to know what the fuck you think you're doing, Sister Willow. Zoë's like, "I think you think this is Heaven, but actually it looks like a bunch of bullshit." Clarice is so into her being there that she doesn't even notice how grossed out Zoë is, she just dips back into her crazy God talk like, "It's a miracle that you should come here! At the very moment that things are going to change! Bless you! Praise you!"

I gotta say, after "Daybreak" the only thing that's really hurt my feelings in this genre of television is what happened to Kai Winn, and I'm so glad that Clarice didn't end up a fool that way. I mean, she's a damn fool, but there's nothing embarrassing about it. Kai Winn was so hardcore right up until the end, and then she just petered out into this toe-sucking lowlife and eventually got eaten by dragons or something, I don't remember, it's been a while but I know it was really disrespectful and I had a feeling Clarice might end up the same way. But no, you can't keep this mother down. Take away her crazy and she will just build herself a new one to blow your mind with some more.

Zoë starts to ask why her mom just disappeared and is now on the run from the entire world, but Clarice hushes her because it's about to start. The tip-off has arrived, and no matter how happy Clarice is to see her little godlet, she always is really into watching a handful of stupid, crazy zealots kill a shitload of people for her glory.

But instead, with like three minutes to the jump and everybody priming their under-seat bombs, a bunch of warplanes fly over, dropping a squadron of Cylon Centurions on the field like Marines. They all spread out into a military formation and start aiming guns at the crowd, and everybody is freaking out and they don't even know why -- I mean, it looks scary to us but that's just because we were on New Caprica -- and because old Clarice is waiting for her new dead friends in Heaven, she doesn't even know something bad is going on.

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