Hunger Strikes

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B | 26 USERS: B+
Subterranean Sandwiches

The hunt team was gaining on the blue team, but was closer to the silver/gray team of Jarick and Tremana (the friends without benefits). They tried to move quietly but step on too many branches to go undetected. The red team charged up their talons and pursued the gray team, tagging Tremana. They were both disappointed, and I’m mad that it wasn’t the blue team.

Jarick went nuts inside the jail, pulling at supplies and banging against the flimsy bars. I understand his frustration, but there’s no need for hysterics. In the woods, Eric and Shane the wing men reveled in their asshole-ry. They’re like two evil Tom Haverfords without the redemptive qualities.

The gold team returned to the village to discover that it’s not blue in jail, but gray. The gold team spread the word that those assholes on the blue team threw sub sandwiches in the muck water.

"Bro! Jarick! Dude, what happened?" the blue team exclaimed, then asked who targeted them in the advantage. Already pissed about the sub sandwich debacle, Kaliesha defensively flew off the handle. The teams accused the blue team of throwing the sandwiches in the water, which they fervently denied. Everyone knew that the pink team wouldn’t pull that shit, though. Everyone also wanted the blue team captured on day two, except the Brooklyn girls, who have been canoodling with those assholes.

"How do you know that someone didn’t just run in there, eat and leave? You don’t know that! How do you know that?", they charged the gold and green teams. They’re right, though, it didn’t matter. All we could do is pray that the blue team gets diarrhea from the subs.

Life was sweet in the Hunter’s Den, where the red team enjoyed nice food and heated beds. To add yet another complication to this game, the Hunt Team gets to invite one other team up to the Hunter’s Den with them. The red team invited the British twins from the teal team because they are easily charmed by accents. They’re actually super cute and I liked this alliance.

Day two of the Hunt started with much less fanfare. Finally, there weren’t any new game elements. Now it was the red team’s job to catch those blue bastards, which I’m sure is something Gargamel has said at least once.

The pink team tried to get far away from everyone, stating wisely that two teams are louder than one. Full of smug sandwiches, the blue team sauntered off into the woods and the rest of the teams discuss strategies. The gold team continued downhill, the lime team was exhausted, the white team tried to be quiet, the green team stayed low to the ground and as quiet as possible. The teal team lost their sense of direction and got stuck in the brush.

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