What is Capture actually? From what I can tell, based on previews alone, it's tag meets capture the flag, meets that show that was on Nickelodeon where the kids were stranded on the island. That show was based on Lord of the Flies, right? If it didn't mean to be, it was. And this show is supposed to be based on The Hunger Games.

I acknowledge that's a better hook than "tag meets old costumes from Rollerball," but the Hunger Games book series is intended as a commentary (on a lot of things, but bloodsport and entertainment and even reality television were among the themes). This show, brought to you by all the people of failed reality TV dating show Ready For Love, is created entirely without that commentary or irony in mind. It's like when Kim Jong Il read 1984 and was like, "those are some good ideas."

OK, so right off the bat we've got the Australian host talking about how in the wild you're either the hunter or the prey. They are not legally allowed to reference The Hunger Games I'm pretty sure. Still, there are twelve teams (districts) of two (tributes) and instead of actually killing each other and being rewarded with their lives, they are tagging each other with these little light-up ball dealies for $250,000. Wait, is it also Fear Factor? Let's bring that show back again.

The first team marching out of the Capture Compound Tunnel Entrance is the purple team, Ryan and Erica. They are the "Parkour Couple," and I think that I hate them. They think they're really tough because they videotape themselves leaping around on buildings and stuff. Disclaimer: every last person on this show could kick the shit out of me and I'm not denying that. The next team is Jarick and Tremana, "friends without benefits." They are the Gray team, and Jerick definitely likes Tremana as more than friends but that is his problem.

Kellee and Marlina make up the yellow team, and they are the "soul sisters." They are not actually sisters, but they are planning on using their sexuality to get what they want. Game-playing like that doesn't work when you're in the wild, girls. The red team is comprised of Rob and Jacob, who are neighbors and love the idea of being hunted and doing the hunting. They are also gay men, who are coming to this show to kick ass, not chase tail. Generally they would be my favorite by default, but I pretty much dislike them, too.

Some more information about this "compound" arena. Luke Tipple, the Australian host welcomes the 12 teams to the game, telling them the playing field is wild and dangerous and although there are real bears and mountain lions living in it, the greatest threat is the other teams. I don't know, I would be more afraid of a bear than I would be of the next team we meet: Eric and Shane, the "wing men" of the blue team. Hey, they have already won the competition of the team I will hate the most.

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