The Hunt Begins

Episode Report Card
Carla Sparks: B- | 40 USERS: A-
Let the Appetite Sports Begin

Luke Tipple shows up on the prey teams' communicators, which are much bulkier than those used by the Power Rangers, to say that "the Hunt Team is in pursuit." No one knows what that means, because it's day one and the only person who really knows what is happening is Luke Tipple. The red team listens and affirms that it's not them being pursued. Like a freaking '90s movie, the green team hides behind some bushes and the hunt team runs right past them. Blooper!

The green team has escaped for now. We catch up with the yellow team, our "soul sisters," who have been hiking uphill so long that they are close to puking. Hey, we haven't even met the Lime Team yet! James and Rebecca are siblings, and might be my favorite. They are total nerds, just goofing around and yucking it up, plus James is obviously gay in a more approachable way than the red team.

The Hunt Team is now nearing the yellow team, as they explain how "useful" their parkour training is. This is demonstrated by Erica jumping really dramatically onto a rock. They are used to moving quickly and running on different surfaces. I guess it could be useful for treading lightly, and not throwing up in high altitudes like the yellow team. Ryan and Erica smeared their faces with dirt, which is really stupid.

We have to watch Kellee throw up, and Ryan and Erica hear it. Marlina asks Kellee if she could throw up a little quieter and Kellee says in a confident outdoor voice that only dogs' ears could hear that. They stand still to talk about their next move as Ryan and Erica close in. The soul sisters are fighting already, displaying that they clearly have the weakest bond. Luke Tipple tells them that they're now visible to the Hunt Team on their communicators.

The yellow team runs into the gray team, our friends without benefits, and the gray team doesn't even know the Hunt Team is onto them. Why would they travel together? So stupid. Gray and yellow squat down together, and Kellee says, "being together, it's almost a mistake right now. We're making so much noise it's almost backfiring on us." No, Kellee, it's a huge mistake, and in order to backfire, there has to be some advantage to firing at all, which there is none. The Hunt Team is in pursuit of two teams at once now, and the yellow team led them right there. The gray and yellow teams split, and the yellow team runs downhill.

Erica pursues the girls of the yellow team easily. Marlina gets a little stuck, and Kellee gets super stuck. To my delight, Kellee is tagged by the talon. She deserved it, she was being such an idiot. Marlina and Kellee are escorted back to jail, and these soul sisters are pissed at each other. Kellee accepts no responsibility. Marlina regrets choosing her as a partner. They never even had an opportunity to use their sexuality to get what they want. Day one of the hunt is over and it's raining.

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