Carnivale
Black Blizzard

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Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
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Lust in the Dust
So I found myself with a lot of extra time to read The Bible this week ["Behold, in the day of your fast ye find pleasure, and exact all your labours." -- Isaiah 58:3], which means I'm now just chock full of random, potentially interesting trivia tidbits for you. For example, did you know that the Israelite tribe of Benjamin betrayed their brothers and killed more than a hundred thousand men in a war over a wrongfully dismembered concubine? Or that Aaron had the biggest rod in all of Egypt? Okay, how about this one: The words "carnival," "cooch," "midget," "freak," "tattoo," "management," "migrant," "conjoined," "comatose," "telekinetic," "roustabout," "rube," and "accent grave" appear nowhere in the King James edition. Curiously enough, the words "wolf," "lake," "deep," "space," and "nine" all make multiple appearances. The Lord doth work in highly mysterious ways. It'll also be important later to know that God spent an awful lot of time telling Isaiah to kill people. And then he took a nice schvitz!

Reader Mail Bag
1. The Sopranos premieres March 7th. Now stop asking.
2. Heh. It's even funnier because "hi-dee-ho" makes me think of Ned Flanders.
3. Best spam subject line of the week? "lol…ur penissss R weird."
4. "Quakers"?

Morning in Carnieland. After a wide shot of their tents nestled against the base of a CGI mountain, we cut to a close-up of Ben, trying his best to fix a truck engine. Hmm. Do his powers of healing now extend to the mechanical? Because I'm betting his buddy the cybernetic governor would have found that very useful. Behind him, the twins are doing either tai-chi or a bizarre interpretive dance that involves handsprings, back-bends, and softly stroking each other's neck. It's actually quite impressive, and I can see why these two were so popular with Cirque du Soleil. And also with pedophiles.

In Lodz's trailer, meanwhile, everyone's favorite blind Frenchman is enjoying his morning absinthe. Ahh, nothing like the wake and bake. I remember college. Or, more accurately, I don't remember college. The glass itself is jostled by a minor tremor which sends ripples through the liquid, and Lodz smiles an evil little grin as he reaches out to steady it. Does this mean the T-Rex is coming?

Probably not, as the next shot is of Mommatose in her trailer. Did she cause the tremor? Because we've never seen her powers extend that far (assuming you don't count her nocturnal visit to Ben), but no one else in Carnieland seems to have noticed, so I guess it's a possibility. At any rate, she and Sofie are engaged in one of their usual one-sided conversations, and I will now bow to popular demand and reinstate the "convorsations" by transcribing it in full:

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Carnivale

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