Ingram, TX

Episode Report Card
Strega: C | Grade It Now!
Snake Harming

The ferris wheel keeps on turning, Proud Mary keeps on burning. Jonesy is brooding over a baseball while Sofie does something I don't understand with a stack of tires. Jonesy whispers, "When you were a kid, you thought the seams [on the baseball] were veins." I see. Sofie looks around, and they make a big point of the fact that from where she is, Jonesy is hidden in the shadow of a car. Jonesy rolls the baseball away and leaves. Sofie starts to wheel the tire somewhere, and sees the baseball. She looks around like this is terribly mysterious.

Ruthie dances with her snake. Charmingly. She loops the snake around her neck, and then suddenly it's coiled around her neck and tightening. She starts to gasp, and a man in the crowd shouts, "Somebody he'p!" as she collapses onto the stage. Gabe pops out from backstage and pulls the snake away. Yay. I love Gabe. Once freed, Ruthie tells Gabe, "Kill it!" Gabe hesitates, but the crowd agrees, so he kneels down and starts whipping the snake's head into the stage over and over and over. Er, couldn't you have just twisted its neck, Mister Strong Man? Blood spatters a few people in the crowd. Gabe keeps on playing crack the whip.

Ben is hanging upside down in the shed-y place. And he's shirtless. Well, I think he's naked, but all we see is that he's shirtless, and I'm comfortable with it staying that way. The three stooges are sitting around, jelly glasses of moonshine in their hands, as they watch the bonfire of mannequin parts. It's almost like one of our staff TWoPcons. And then a monkey runs up, and it's exactly like a TWoPcon. There are two women, one very pregnant, going through Ben's clothing nearby. The monkey joins them, and I start to get very concerned that the monkey is the third guy's common-law wife. Oh, Carnivàle. Why must you make such thoughts possible? One of the girls finds the watch fob of doom, and hands it to the other. The pregnant girl looks around, and then shoves it into her pocket.

Dennis walks over to wear Ben's hanging, carrying a flail. Sure, why not a flail? If you've already got mannequin bits and a monkey, naturally you'd complete the decor with a cat o' nine tails. Ben asks, "What are you doing?" Dennis replies, "Ain't it clear?" Point for Dennis. The flailing begins. The monkey jumps up and down excitedly, and finally Bluto tells Dennis, "That's enough, now. Leave some for the worms." Dennis doesn't stop until Bluto shouts at him. This is what life was like before cable, people. Dennis wanders over, grabs a shovel, and tells Jason Lee, "Go bury him." Jason Lee makes a face like, "I always get the crap job," but gets up and takes the shovel. As Jason Lee wanders away, Bluto adds, "Deep! Not like the last one." The monkey perches by Dennis's head, and he cuddles her and says, "That's right, Joanne. You're a pretty little lady, that's what you are." She licks his cheek. Oh, Carnivàle. Why?

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