Back in the cooch tent, Sofie & Libby are happily dancing on the stage while "Patsy" yodels in the background. This is supposed to be a better song? Yeah. I don't think so. Ma Cooch enters the tent, but stops short in the doorway and smiles as she watches her daughter. Lila comes up behind her and observes that with a couple of matching outfits, Sofie and Libby could put on quite a show. Yeah, but it wouldn't be anywhere near as good without Meatloaf's Daughter and her mismatched titties. Some things just can't be replaced. Lila also asks if Ma knows where Ben is, and Ma provides our bearded buddy with all the necessary exposition about Ben's quest.
Noah's Arkham Asylum. A well-dressed, bespectacled doctor follows an orderly as he carries a chair into a nearby cell. Once there, we see that the cell is occupied by Brother Justin, who is curled up in a corner wearing a straitjacket. The doctor takes a moment to sit down and arrange his pen and notepad, and I know most of you were thinking about the nasty pen scene from the season premiere of 24, but I personally spent this time thinking about the (implied only) nasty pen scene from Terminator II. Does that mean I'm dating myself? The doctor (whom we'll call Dr. Smarmy McInkstain for easy reference) asks Justin for his name, and decides to call him "John Doe" when no name is forthcoming. Get it? He then recaps that Justin attempted suicide by jumping off the "John F. Chellis" bridge, but Clancy replies to this allegation with a simple "No." Dr. McInkstain tries to clarify whether Justin means no, he didn't jump or no, he doesn't remember, and Justin grows remarkably more lucid by the second and answers by saying, "I remember perfectly. I've always been what I am." "What is that?" asks the doc. "The left hand of God," replies Justin. Now it's not exactly a secret in these recaps that I'm Jewish, and while I do occasionally like to quote the New Testament to make a comedically ironic point about the action on screen, the sad truth of the matter is that everything I know about Christian mythology and iconography comes from Monty Python and Indiana Jones movies. I do have Paradise Lost on my Books I Plan To Read Before I Die list, but it's currently languishing in twenty-seventh place, just ahead of War and Peace and just behind that new Six Feet Under coffee-table book. So I have no idea what "left hand of God" means, and unless the Knights of Templar are planning on asking me to bring back a shrubbery, I'm gonna be a little bit lost on that one as well. So please forgive me in advance if I say anything blasphemous enough to piss off the Jesus freaks in the audience. They're probably the only ones worse than the Nastassja Kinski fans.