Down in Carnieland, Samson is giving Ben his plot…er, "mission" for the week. He sends him out on a quest to find "Scorpion Boy," who at this point we can only assume is really the much-anticipated "Lobster Boy." Said Scorpion Boy can be found in a town called Gunderson, which is about thirty miles away. Ben thinks this all sounds a little sketchy, but then Samson reminds him that everything about the carnie business is sketchy, and it's not like Ben can disagree with that particular statement. You know, because he probably doesn't even know what "sketchy" means. Samson continues delivering instructions, including a bit about how Ben should check Scorpion Boy's "paws" to make sure he's not a fake, and also about how he should offer the guy four bucks a week, but go up to six if he has too. Aww. Sars made me the exact same offer when I started here. And like an idiot, I took the four bucks. Oh, well. Samson further assures the boy that everything will be as easy as "ice cream and cake," which is exactly what I said when I agreed to recap CSI last week, and it turned out to be an episode about deviant sexual behavior and a guy who got killed for trading in expired ice cream, and it kinda sucked and wasn't worth the four dollars and now I'm tired and grumpy and don't want to recap anymore this week and Ben obviously feels the same way I do, because he asks Samson if it's so easy why doesn't he just do it himself? Samson's reply to all that, however, is definitely a keeper: "If I head out, everyone will know. We got a lot of carnies defectorating lately." Hee hee! "Defectorating." That's totally funny enough for me to forgive the giant load of exposition that comes out of his mouth next. "Competition catches word of this," he explains, referencing this mysterious "competition" that we've never really heard of before, "next thing you know that Scorpion Boy will be mangy with freak-finders from every show in the five counties." Except I thought this carnival traveled all over, right? I mean, we've seen them in at least two states already, so what five counties is he talking about? Samson also gives Ben an envelope filled with fifteen dollars for incidentals, and responds to Ben's "why me?" whining by telling him that it's just his "turn in the barrel." Would that be 00's barrel? And is taking a turn in the barrel anything like standing tall before the wagon? Because I certainly wouldn't mind seeing Ben take a turn there, let me tell you. Six, please!