Carnieland. Sofie is filing her mother's nails.
Sofie: Mother, we don't have to talk about this.
Mommatose: Oh, I think we do. That Ruthie has been in here three times already trying to change my bedpan when you're not around.
Sofie: I told her no.
Mommatose: Well, I guess she didn't listen. And I can't believe you're so calm about her horning in on your territory like this! You love changing my bedpan!
Sofie: Why are you nagging me about something I haven't even done?
Mommatose: Yeah, and speaking of which…
Sofie: You know what? Maybe I would. At least Libby's mother treats her daughter with a little respect.
Mommatose: What the hell does Ma Cooch have to do with anything? I'm talking about Ruthie. Hell, she actually brought that sissy boy Gabriel of hers in here to lift me out of bed last time.
Sofie: You're one to talk, mother. At least "she" knows who "her" father is.
Mommatose: Yeah, and I warned you about Scudder, didn't I?
That "father" crack actually earns Sofie a telepathic slap across the face, which was very, very cool. She responds by socking Mommatose with an actual physical slap, and then stomps out of the trailer just like she always does.
In the Cooch tent, meanwhile, Pa Pimp is trying to convince his wife to sex up his best pal Jonesy. "I don't roll with trade," insists Ma, who takes great pride in her hooking. "That's the way it is. No tricks for carnie folk." Pa continues pleading, however, and Ma finally asks if this was his idea, or Jonesy's. Of course, Pa lies and says it was all Jones, but Ma sees right through this like it's one of her sheer lace nighties. "Why would you want to do something like this to us?" she asks, but Pa just keeps insisting it's nothing more than another harmless trick. "Fine," snaps Ma. "Line him up." Pa gives every indication of being the new poster boy for "be careful what you wish for," but it's way too late to go back now. It's also worth noting, by the way, that Ma spent most of this scene applying moisturizer. Which makes sense, I guess, because she is pretty much the only clean one in the entire bunch. And…scene. Except not, because just before we cut away, Sofie pokes her head into the tent to say hi. Dun dun DUH!
California. Some guy in the dayroom at the insane asylum is just chanting "Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!" over and over and over again. He does it through pretty much the entire scene, which lasts for a good three or four minutes. It's incredibly annoying, but the payoff is cool, and it did provide me with a convenient homepage teaser, so I guess I shouldn't complain. Besides, much like with subbing for CSI, if mindless repetition is good enough for Keckler, it's good enough for me. We pan around the room a bit, watching various crazy people doing crazy things (like mopping the floor, repeatedly chanting "Hey!", and generally looking ridiculous in their short, flappy white gowns), and then Justin himself strolls past, looking significantly more calm and composed than anyone else there. He stakes out a spot by the windows, which affords him both a clear view of the Iris look-alike nurse, and also the opportunity to hear the radio, which is currently playing a song. That doesn't last long, however, as the nurse soon changes the station, and the dulcet tones of Tommy Dolan fill the airwaves. Justin doesn't even bat an eyelash as Tommy starts relating his sad story yet again, but he does whisper "be still" under his breath, which finally shuts up the "Hey!" guy. Thank god. Tommy is clearly a man who doesn't believe in punctuation, because his entire broadcast in this scene is basically one never-ending sentence, which prevents me from quoting anything more than his final words, which are, "Where are you, Brother Justin?" Well, at the moment he's artfully silhouetted in front of the asylum windows, if you must know. And how come Justin is the only loony who gets pants?
West Virginia. The Pissing Man has Lobster Girl all loaded into his fancy convertible, and she's chowing down on a candy bar while he warns her to watch the upholstery. Heh. Ben, meanwhile, is busy trying to fix the overheated radiator on his truck. Mr. Piss wanders over to try and patch things up, which he does by asserting that "freak-finders" have to stick together, and then offering Ben a candy bar of his own. Oh, I think we all know that it'll take a bit more than a tiny hunk of chocolate to de-grump the grumpiest grump who ever grumped. Hell, he could offer Ben an ice-cream sundae with whipped cream, chocolate sauce, naked women, and hundred-dollar bills on top, and the boy still wouldn't crack a smile. Mr. Piss introduces himself as "Phineas Boffo," which isn't much of an improvement over "Mr. Piss," and further adds that he and Samson go way back. He holds out his hand, and Ben reluctantly reaches out to shake it. The instant they make contact, however, Ben immediately gets a vision of medieval knights with swords, dismembered heads, and red crosses on their armor. The crossier kind of cross, by the way. And you can see my earlier bit on the Knights Who Say Ni for an explanation of why I'm not delving into the symbolism here. When Ben finally manages to yank his hand away, he opens it to reveal the "In Hoc Signo Vinces" ring we all saw in his dreams in Episode One. Phineas demands that Ben return the jewelry, saying that it's from "his lodge," but Ben just floors the gas and leaves Mr. Piss to piss into the wind. Something tells me Ben and Angel would really get along.