And then for some reason we cut to an extended shot of Random Roustie #00's butt, as he carries a barrel away from the camera. Then it turns into a shot of Sofie's "breasts" as she passes 00, and carries a pair of baseball gloves over to where Jonesy is working on a car. And I'm not kidding, either. Go back and check your tapes. That was a very bizarre framing choice. Sofie admonishes Jonesy to "think fast," and then drops one of the gloves on the ground beside him. Tim DeKay is actually under the car working on the transmission, by the way. And seeing as how he's never been one to let his castmates' erogenous zones upstage his own, he makes sure to jiggle a bit as he rolls out from underneath.
Fortunately for these two, there just so happens to be a perfectly flat, wide-open meadow nearby, where they can play catch in peace before a photographically interesting background. You know, as opposed to the usual dust storms, killer coal mines, towns filled with Opie-looking rapists, horny zombies, and dead cooch dancers hanging from trees that the carnies usually like to surround themselves with. Sofie throws like a girl, by the way. It's so bad, in fact, that Jonesy tries to psych her up by relating an old trick from "back when [he] used to hurl." Which is probably an unfortunate choice of terminology, given that I just referenced the reason we all saw him hurl three weeks ago. At any rate, his suggestion is that she picture the face of someone she really hates in the catcher's mitt. "Let's see, who could that be," he asks, bringing the mitt up to stare into it. "Oh, yeah. Hi Momma." Heh. Sofie giggles a bit, and Jonesy further observes that "for a body that don't talk, she sure do got a lot to say." You have no idea, Jonesy. But at least he didn't call her a rutabaga. Sofie sadly confesses that Mommatose doesn't like any of her friends, which prompts Jonesy to look worried and ask if there are any exceptions to that rule. "Well there is you, of course," replies Sofie. "She's got a mind you walk on water." Oh, I think we all know that "walking" isn't really what Jonesy like to do with water. Jiggle, jiggle. Sofie does add that Mommatose ain't too fond of Libby, and Jonesy does a horrible job of concealing the fact that he agrees with that notion wholeheartedly. He stumbles through a ridiculous attempt to cover this obvious flirtation faux pas, but it's no use. Sofie stomps off in a huff, and poor Jonesy is left to pick up her glove and stare at her rapidly receding backside. In fact, he's so mad at himself here that he actually forgets to spit.
Down in Carnieland, Samson is giving Ben his plot…er, "mission" for the week. He sends him out on a quest to find "Scorpion Boy," who at this point we can only assume is really the much-anticipated "Lobster Boy." Said Scorpion Boy can be found in a town called Gunderson, which is about thirty miles away. Ben thinks this all sounds a little sketchy, but then Samson reminds him that everything about the carnie business is sketchy, and it's not like Ben can disagree with that particular statement. You know, because he probably doesn't even know what "sketchy" means. Samson continues delivering instructions, including a bit about how Ben should check Scorpion Boy's "paws" to make sure he's not a fake, and also about how he should offer the guy four bucks a week, but go up to six if he has too. Aww. Sars made me the exact same offer when I started here. And like an idiot, I took the four bucks. Oh, well. Samson further assures the boy that everything will be as easy as "ice cream and cake," which is exactly what I said when I agreed to recap CSI last week, and it turned out to be an episode about deviant sexual behavior and a guy who got killed for trading in expired ice cream, and it kinda sucked and wasn't worth the four dollars and now I'm tired and grumpy and don't want to recap anymore this week and Ben obviously feels the same way I do, because he asks Samson if it's so easy why doesn't he just do it himself? Samson's reply to all that, however, is definitely a keeper: "If I head out, everyone will know. We got a lot of carnies defectorating lately." Hee hee! "Defectorating." That's totally funny enough for me to forgive the giant load of exposition that comes out of his mouth next. "Competition catches word of this," he explains, referencing this mysterious "competition" that we've never really heard of before, "next thing you know that Scorpion Boy will be mangy with freak-finders from every show in the five counties." Except I thought this carnival traveled all over, right? I mean, we've seen them in at least two states already, so what five counties is he talking about? Samson also gives Ben an envelope filled with fifteen dollars for incidentals, and responds to Ben's "why me?" whining by telling him that it's just his "turn in the barrel." Would that be 00's barrel? And is taking a turn in the barrel anything like standing tall before the wagon? Because I certainly wouldn't mind seeing Ben take a turn there, let me tell you. Six, please!