The Day Of The Dead

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B+ | Grade It Now!
Sister? But I just kissed her!

Sofie: Good morning, mother.
Mommatose: Good morning, my dear.
Sofie: You thought that was pretty funny last night, didn't you?
Mommatose: Well, I don't know about "funny." I was kinda turned on, though. I mean, we all go a little lesbian sometimes, right?
Sofie: You know what I'm talking about. Don't bother denying it.
Mommatose: Oh, you're the one in denial, my dear. How's the weather in that closet, anyway?
Sofie: Making the worm move? That was a nice touch.
Mommatose: Aw, thanks. I thought so, too. I'd also like to add that it was the sight of an obvious phallic symbol jiggling that made you almost want to vomit. Are you really too stupid to figure out what that means?
Sofie: I've been thinking you could use a haircut. It's 1934 and long hair just isn't in style anymore. We've gotta bring you up to the times.
Mommatose: Oh, come on! Short hair? Phallus phobia? Isn't any of this adding up for you?

Sofie finally puts that giant pillow behind Mommatose's head, thus answering the "Will she smother her or not?" question. Instead, she pulls out a pair of scissors and starts snipping away.

Sofie: So tell me more about this so-called "rape." Because [snip] I've been wondering [snip] about it, and it just [snip] ain't adding up.
Mommatose: You don't really expect me to make a rape joke here, do you? Because that kind of thing is really only funny on Oz.
Sofie: It was rape, wasn't it [snip]? You said it was. But then, we only have your side of the story.
Mommatose: Well, there's my side of the story and then there's also THE GIANT LIFE-LIKE FLASHBACK! Or were you not paying attention? Sometimes I wonder about you, dear. I mean, it's not like I think you're stupid or anything, but…
Sofie: But you do, mother. You do hate me.
Mommatose: Oh, for God's sake! I don't hate you. How many times I have I told you? I'd much rather you brought home a nice gypsy girl than a non-gypsy boy. I mean, really.
Sofie: But that's okay. Because I love you.

And with that, Sofie gives her mother a quick kiss, and then holds up a mirror so she can see her new butch haircut. Mommatose doesn't exactly look happy, however, by which I mean that she looks exactly like she always does.

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