Pa Pimp, meanwhile, has finally made it back to his tent and noticed the little red pig. Inside, Ma adjusts her ample bosom for maximum erotic effect, but Pa just stands in front of the door without going in. "I think he's gonna pork her," mutters Random Roustie #69. "He's not gonna pork her," replies OU812. "Look, he's walking away." And in fact Pa is walking away, leaving Ma alone in her bed, looking depressed. Aww. I know what that's like. My little red pig gets more action from the neighbor's garden gnomes than I've had in years.
Hey, look! It's Jonesy! I guess they decided to keep him in the background this week in order to give you all you Limpies some extra time to recover from the bouncing. This week he's merely creaking, because someone forgot to oil his leg brace. He limps through the closed-down carnival until he comes across Pa Pimp, who is piss drunk and trapped on the Ferris wheel. He helps poor Pa down, and Pa offers him a drink in return. Jonesy accepts. And that's really all that happened, but there's no way I could recap this scene without adding that it contained all of the following words: "Al-kee-haul," "Stumpy," "cork high and bottle deep," "snot-flying drunk," "giddy up," "red eye," "regular Aggie forty," "coon dick," "druthers," and "ruthers." That's got to be some kind of record. Pa Pimperson does manage to inject some drama into the scene, however, when he drunkenly announces, "Every which way I turn, I see my little girl. Every which way." Aww. Sniff. Although it does prove my point from earlier. The monkey totally made Every Which Way But Loose a million times better.
On the other side of Carnieland, Adrienne Barbeau is stepping out of her trailer. She tells Gabe that she'll be right back, and we hear him say "okay, mama" from off-screen, just in case there's anyone left who isn't sure how they're related. She immediately runs into Ben, who seems to have been lurking just outside her door, and he quickly apologizes for breaking Gabe's wrist. "That means exactly less than nothing to me right now," she replies. "Less than nothing?" wonders a confused Ben. "Do you mean that roustie over there? Because I thought he was 1492." Or maybe he just says that her relationship with Scudder is none of his business. Except for the part where it totally is his business, because Gabe could be his brother. "I don't answer to no man," declares Adrienne. "Never have. And I ain't gonna start now. I maybe might answer to a Swamp Thing if he asked, but that's a whole different story we ain't got time for right now." She goes on to say that there are things she doesn't know about him (like what he looks like with the dirt washed off) and there are things he doesn't know about her (like what she looks like on a full stomach). "You're just gonna have to accept that," she tells him, and Ben reluctantly agrees.













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