From there, we segue right back to Justin on the riverbank. He's there alone with the little boy, and he's still pleading for help, albeit in his own inimitable style. "You sister is being very, very bad," he whispers urgently. "She's getting both of you in a lot of trouble. When people find me, I will tell them what you've done, and you'll be punished. You'll be beaten." Oh, yeah. That's gonna make the kid want to help. Justin tries another tack, and tells the kid that he's the man of the family, and needs to take charge of the situation. This method is marginally more successful, or at least it would have been if the girl hadn't returned and started beating on Justin's broken leg with a stick. Ouch. Clancy goes nuts, and starts throttling Josephine Stalin so hard that I totally expected his tongue to loll out while he grunts, "Why you little…" The boy, whose name is revealed to be Alexei, isn't about to just let a strange man with bad hair and an unexplained command of the Russian language just start choking his sister like that, so he opens his big, giant eyes a little wider, and shouts something in Russian. This causes Clancy to jerk back and release the little girl, who immediately tries to get her brother to stop whatever it is he's doing. It's to no avail, however, and we're treated to a nicely nasty shot of Clancy Brown's head spinning around and then snapping when it hits the 180 degree mark. Double ouch. Although it's still a better fate than The Kurgan. Fade to white.

And fade back up on Brother Justin, once again perched precariously on the edge of the bridge. Officer Bobby Ewing is more successful in his attempts to talk Clancy down this time, and Justin is soon brought back over the railing on onto firmer ground. "This was not visited upon me," he moans. "This is my birthright. My birthright!" The cops put him back on his feet, and Justin slowly wanders away.

Which segues us right back to Iris and Tommy "See Me, Feel Me" Dolan, who is utterly enraptured by the tale. "That's quite a story," he finally manages. "More of a parable, really," answers Iris. Heh. "In Russia, there's a saying," she continues. "Pray to God, but row for shore. Faith and action. That's how I live my life, Mr. Dolan." "And speaking of action," he smarms, "what do you say us two kooky whippersniffers hit the bedroom?" Fade to black.

Morning in Carnieland. Ma Cooch stomps over to find Pa slumped on one of the picnic tables. She throws a notepad down in front of him, and demands that he compose an ad to find them a new "professional" cooch dancer. Pa is horrified by the very idea, and somewhat timidly insists that he and Libby are still planning on leaving. "No, you won't," answers a cool and collected Ma Cooch. "You ain't gonna leave me. You don't even know how to begin to leave me." Ooh, burn. And you can call her a bitch if you want, but there's no denying she's totally right.