The River

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | 1 USERS: A+
He ain't heavy, he's my brother!

California. Tommy Dolan is broadcasting live from the home of one Val Templeton, better known to moviegoers and TWoP-readers around the globe as "Otho." Or possibly "Father Ripper." So I guess this means he didn't die, after all. Tommy spends the first half of the scene buttering Otho up, calling him "a latter-day colossus" who "stands astride the Central Valley." Well, I'd buy the "colossus" part, at any rate. Then he turns the tables, and basically shakes the guy down for a $3,000 contribution to Brother's Justin's "Dignity Ministry." The best part comes when Tommy asks Otho if he's interested in trying to find Justin, and Ripper responds with a succinctly sarcastic "Keenly." Hee! Meanwhile, Iris sits at home and listens intently. That'll be important later.

Fade to later that night, with Justin still lying along the banks of the river. He's managed to pull himself up to a semi-seated position, although he's barely conscious enough to notice that the two kids have returned. "You're a bad man," announces the little girl. "My father sent you to kill us." Um, okay. Justin tries to explain that he's just a perfectly normal guy who occasionally induces communal hallucinations and once made the mistake of thinking he could fly, but little Michelle Gorbachev isn't having it. "My mother said we could not trust anybody who was not a man of God," she tells him. "But I am a man of God," replies Justin, before remembering that he ripped off his cassock before leaving Mintern. Oops. Oh, the irony! Oh, the humanity! They all simultaneously hear a group of men approaching through the woods, and the little girl freaks out and accuses Justin of leading "assassins" there to kill them all. Justin pooh-poohs the very notion, and starts screaming for help. Anna Karenina isn't about to allow that, however, so she grabs a big rock off the ground and bashes Clancy right on the noggin. Heh. Fade to black.

Carnieland. Everyone is open for business, with crowds packing the midway. In her trailer, Sofie is delivering on her promise to read Libby's cards. The first one she turns is "The Fool," which means that Libby is "carefree" and "light-hearted." The second is "The Chariot," only it's upside-down, which probably doesn't bode well. After a quick cutaway to Mommatose looking as disapproving as it's possible for someone who never moves her facial muscles to look, Sofie lies and claims that she dealt the card incorrectly. She also tells Libby exactly what she wants to hear, which is that our fair-haired heroine is destined for fame and fortune. Libby is ecstatic and all giggling, and hugging ensues before she leaves to go start packing. Never one to let a good (or bad) deed go unpunished, Mommatose feels the need to speak up at this point.

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